Ok, I'm ready to admit that such things can happen.
Science has confirmed our good tidings: a virgin birth in Virginia. Yes, Virginia. Let the word go forth from the Swash Zone.
Behold your new savior: not exactly what you were expecting, but born of a virgin and all we have to do is eat her fin and we shall not die, but be born again
Under the sea
In an octopus's garden
In the shade
Drats! Why must our savior be a shark? With friends like that, who needs anemones.
ReplyDeleteHA!!!!
ReplyDeleteMales are no longer necessary!
Take head, men, you're importance in the course of human history may be evolutionarily diminishing! Might we be able someday to reproduce without you?! (less fun, yes . . . but that's another issue)
Let's here it for female shark power!
(I'm gonna be laughin' about this all day . . . )
Well sharks don't have to open jars or debug computers or fix cars.
ReplyDeleteThey don't have to take out the trash or move the couch. So before you say anything rash remember civilization would crash without men.
Besides parthenogenesis is so rare, the species would die out very quickly.
Und der Haifisch, der hat Zähne. . .
und die trägt er im Gesicht ...
ReplyDeleteAhem.
ReplyDeleteI a SINGLE FEMALE SQUID who has to open her own jars, debug her own computers, take out her own trash & fix her own car. And, yes, I move couches too. And did I mention my tool box?
Soooo - now that we have gotten "our" gender stereotyping put of the way - forgive my lack of German, but - what?
As for civilization crashing without men - don't tempt a squid to go there . . . And besides, I did acknowledge that you all were "fun" in some respects.
serving & volleying while smiling ..........
-
But the question is, dear Squid, can you parthenogenuflect without guilt?
ReplyDeleteAs far as jars, cars, trash, an couches go, I can multitask like no-one can and still have 4 tentacles left over for floating-point arithmetic.
Without guilt?! - don't tempt me you two german speaking show-offs!
ReplyDeleteAs for you, dear Octopus - I have two long tentacles in addition to my arms - and you?
"Vee-Gates" and all that! I've always liked the Brit way of saying "merci beaucoup": mercy buckets!
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard about the shark being a votary of the chaste goddess Diana, but what do I know? I'm just a big lizard anyway. Have always had a certain fondness for sharks -- sleek, beautiful creatures. Am also a fan of arachnids.
Anyhow, I like comedian Red Green's way of characterizing the essence of masculinity: "duct tape." Anything needs fixing? Use duct tape. Lots of it.
Stereotyping? You'd prefer monotyping? And how did we get on the subject of art anyway?
ReplyDeleteAnd for heaven's sake, don't tell the women about duct tape - then they really can get along without us.
Und MacHeath, der hat viel duct tape
Doch das duct tape sieht man nicht.
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ReplyDeleteSquid, I believe those tentacles are meant to cuttle.
ReplyDeleteDino: Every toolbox needs duct tape and WD-40. See, if it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40.
From virgin births to duct tape . . . well this has been an interesting comment thread.
ReplyDeleteFogg - women do not NEED duct tape to survive without men. Oh do dream on . . . duct tape is a modern invention tho we women have been muddling on just fine without it . . .
B-Dino - "the essence of masculinity" is duct tape? Really? Well - that pretty much sums it up. Thanks! (would make a great T-shirt slogan)
Octopus - Oh? Really? With warm & inviting good intent or to devour prey?
Masculinity? Well, duct tape and maybe "close proximity to violence" or something along those lines -- i.e being partly structured by your willingness to engage in violent acts. My father, who passed away many years ago, told me that his father (a hardscrabble steel worker during the Depression) used to tell him when they saw some kid committing a misdeed, "son, if you don't go give that kid a beating, I'll give you one." There you have it--a very traditional way of thinking about masculinity, though hardly a sufficient one and indeed fraught with troubling implications. But my father was too easygoing to do the same with me, so I ended up being an English teacher. Besides, I have teeth like railroad spikes (imagine Jurassic Park-like terrifying, or at least mildly disquieting, roar). Who needs boxing when you can just chomp your enemies to bits?
ReplyDeleteThere are no recorded cases of parthenogenesis among cephalopods, but I understand humans are known to be autoerotic resulting, not in viable offspring, but in noxious gas and erratic behaviors. In contrast, cephalopods save the best for last with all available energy. At all other times, we devote ourselves to arts (camouflage) and literature (ink) until the final clarion summons us to duty.
ReplyDeleteSince we have no concerns about retirement, and since young octopods are self-educated (unlike humans who pass their worst traits from generation to generation through their offspring), we don’t need investments, pensions, or currency. Thus, we can afford to be honest and forthright … unlike the chicanery and corruption of those covetous humans.
I suspect Cephalopod and Saurischian cultures share similar traits.
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ReplyDeleteB-Dino - you raise a good point - there are as many stereotypical / traditional ways of viewing masculinity as well as femininity. Many of which are limited in their understanding of the true potential of either.
ReplyDeleteOctopus - NOW LOOK! - I happen to adore brainy men (a good thing considering my company on this blog) but you & FOGG are forever sending me to the dictionary looking up the words you oh so cleverly toss off in your posts & comments. Let alone all of the quoting of German.
Saurischian?
Oh for heavens' sake!
And no cracks, please, about women not being able to keep up intellectually. Best not to rile a squid.
[And no cracks about my not being smart enough to use the correct blog account either!)
Never use a small word when a sesquepedalianism will do, or a foreign one, of course. n'est-ces pas?
ReplyDeleteOr should I say Nicht Wahr? or Hau bu hau ma?
Na Verdade?
Anyway, I don't think anyone is demeaning women here, or intends to do more than to indulge in light persiflage with anyone who appears to be fun to tease; but the notion of a single gender species isn't worth the contemplation,if for no other reason than that there would be far less love in the world.
Anyway, that's my brumous opinion.
No doubt cephs and dinos have shared the planet equitably for a long time. Dinos were (and are -- ahem!) a simple, presyllabic bunch, but as the Shaker song goes, "Tis a gift to be simple, tis a gift to be free." Whee! Things were better in the Jurassic....
ReplyDeleteCaptain Fogg - the breeze (wind) you feel wafting in your direction is from the white flag I am holding aloft whilst waving. I surrender already! I know when to bow in submission in the face of a superior wit with a killer vocabulary (much as it is SO annoying to have to admit to!).
ReplyDeleteAs for solo reproducing - as I said at the beginning of this now marathon comment thread - going it alone is a lot less fun &, as you rightly point out, a lot less lovable.
Now, Squid, as a fellow cephalopod, I must admonish you for underrating your natural endowments.
ReplyDeleteYou have a highly-distributed, massively-parallel neural net capable of processing multiple-instruction-multiple-data sets with lightning quick reflexes. Oh frumious joy!
Enough of this self- floccinaucinihilipilification.
Floccinaucinihilipilification?
ReplyDeleteFloccin-A as we used to say at the boiler factory. As sesquipedalianisms go, that one's floccin huge. Bigger than a Bandersnatch, in fact.
Now look, my 8-armed friend. On the one hand you praise my natural endowments - so thoughtful, thank you (I do blush) - but then, on the other hand, you seem to feel the need to supply a link for a feeble-minded squid of afore said blush-worthy natural endowments because her vocabulary is so feeble she needs to be kept link-informed.
ReplyDeleteFine, fine. Was just trying to be a courteous 8pus. Next time I won't hold open a door or pull up a chair. So there!
ReplyDeleteOh good grief, Charlie Brown!
ReplyDeleteAhem. My real name is Igjarjuk.
ReplyDeletewhite flag waving
ReplyDelete