Ever since Fogg’s recent passionate & compassionate, sensitive post I’ve been thinking about the effect of our unstable economy on the people of my world. Considering the incessant screaming from the headlines about the increasingly dismal state of the economy with words such as “worse since depression” being bandied about – one would think that most Americans would be economically quaking in their boots. Well – going by those I know – this is only partly true – which raises the prospect of some interesting social tensions in the future.
A few examples from my world.
I am an acquaintance of someone where I work who works in Human Resources. I ran into her the other day & she started complaining about all of the people coming into her office complaining about the economy. She said she wanted to put up a sign by her desk that said “no whining.” She then proceeded to fill me in on her Thanksgiving plans. She & her husband had decided to blow off the large annual family gathering hosted by her daughter & were instead going to NYC for the weekend. She then proceeded to tell me about all of the shows they were going to go see.
Mmmmm
For starters – she missed the irony of her complaining about complainers. Then – she seemed to miss the fact that issues pertaining to people’s finances were the concern of Human Resources offices (i.e. benefits, etc) so therefore people’s economic concerns were going to rise to the surface in her office. In other words – dealing with these people’s issues was at least part of her job. Thirdly – she was completely insensitive to her own good fortune in the face of others’ woes. The kicker about all of this is that this woman is really a very nice person. Cheerful & engaging. Kind even. I genuinely like her. But for heaven’s sake does she have a blind spot! I was taken aback by the whole conversation. Her obliviousness to the disconnect between her situation & that of others was incredible.
Then there is another coworker who daily regales me with tales about the remodeling of his home. He asked me recently what my plans were for xmas. I said I was staying put by myself, not traveling. He then suggested that I go to one of the local spas for a few days – he was dead serious. I evasively made some kidding remark about that not being my thing (which is true) – quickly changing the subject, not wanting to engage in a discussion of money. I’ve seen the ads for these spas – one would have to mortgage one’s soul to partake. This man happens to know exactly how much money I make – he hired me. He also knows how precarious my particular employment situation is in the current economic climate. Therefore -what a ridiculous suggestion. Now – he did not mean to be insensitive. And I took no offense – though it made me roll my eyes heavenward for days after. He’s a nice person. Really nice. Kind. I like him. But – like the HR woman – clueless.
Now – to be sure – there has always been a disconnect between the have’s & the have not’s in society. And insensitivity between the two is nothing new either. However – I wonder if the disconnect, the unintentional insensitivity is screaming louder these days? Egged on by misleading media analysis & political rhetoric. I wonder this because the headlines keep telling me that WE – in the collective sense as a society – are suffering. But WE are not. Only some of us WE. And some of us WE are suffering more than others. I do NOT include myself in this. I currently have a job with insurance. A place to live. A car. From the point of view of many this is huge - & it is. And from whose point of view am I fortunate? At least partly from the LOWER economic class point of view. You know – that class that NEVER EVER gets mentioned. The class completely dissed by political rhetoric during the election? All we’ve heard about in recent months is the woe of the MIDDLE class. The poor MIDDLE class. Defined by even Obama as being up to $250,000 per anum income. That’s just plain silly and encourages too many people to think of themselves as “suffering.”
I can not help but wonder if the insensitivity of these nice people I know is being nurtured by this inaccurate sense of SHARED suffering being spewed by the media & politicians. Not only are some members of the MIDDLE class acting insensitively to their fellow class members, but they are completely forgetting about the LOWER class in our midst. A class that we like to think doesn’t really exist in our fair country. We give to food banks but do we really stop to think about the lives of those who utilize food banks? If we do not start recognizing the LOWER class then how will we even be sensitive to our fellow middle-classers when they fall into it?
OK - thanks for listening to that rant!
And thanks, Fogg, for your sobering post of yesterday. It got me to thinking . . . And not to put my fellow Zoners & readers on a pedastal or anything, but I have been heartened by posts & comments of late to believe there is compassion for those less fortunate than ourselves. Such as Rocky's story about the local restaurant's Thanksgiving practice. Now - if only we can tune in the media & politicians to the scope of the under classes . . .
I find myself in a situation that is sometimes uncomfortable and almost humiliating. Due to the industry I work in and the downturn of the economy, I have had to make some moves to "rightsize" and reduce human capital expenditures. Those are the corporate phrases for layoffs.
ReplyDeleteI have 104 hourly employees who work for me. My position is relatively safe - things would have to become much worse for my position to be eliminated, but it isn't the case for those who work for me. I had to make a couple of decisions lately that had to be done, but weren't easy.
I try to watch the conversations I participate in at work. Ipersonally refuse to participate in a recession. Santa will still come for ths kids, we had a great dinner yesterday, and I haven't eliminated the cable tv yet.
We are working harder to help those less fortunate. My Civitan club is participating in several projects over the next month, and in January we are leading a food drive to re-stock the local food bank after the holidays.
I can't feel guilty about being stable for my family, nor should anyone. I do think we should all work a little harder and longer now to take care of others.
SQUID - A very good observatory piece. Some people seem to be moving through life with blinders on. Perhaps they don't see the news with long lines at the soup kitchens and food banks or all the bank owned for sale signs in their neighborhood. Like you and Robert, my economic situation is stable, but I'm not heading off to the day spa either. I enjoyed a good meal yesterday, shared with my family and that is key; I am cognizant of how fortunate I am and I am enjoying my good fortune at the same time as I'm making plans of how to make someone else's days ahead a little easier.
ReplyDeleteI also find that $250,000 cap laughable. I live in North Carolina and I daresay most incomes here don't break $30,000. So where is the cap on that lower class. Jesus said we would always have the poor with us but ignoring them isn't what I think He had in mind.
There does seem to be a lot of denial concerning the present state of our economy and our citizens, but in my corner of the world - donations to local charities are UP, so some people get it.
I'd love to have a more positive outlook but the credit card crisis hasn't hit yet so I think it will get worse before it gets better.
Yes, Robert - exactly - it is about being sensitive about what we say in front of others who may not be as fortunate as we. When there is a lack of such sensitivity then resentments for other's good fortunes start to set in.
ReplyDeleteRocky - I agree - what then is the cap on the Low class. If we have a middle class it has to be the middle of something. Wasn't there a time when we more accurately referred to "upper middle class" & "lower middle class" or am I dreaming? We have so sentimentalized the American middle class that we have forgotten about the minimum wage earners or slightly "better" who live without benefits - or if they do have health insurance - they can't afford even their copays. I know people for whom this sort of income is true. We forget that while, yes, the middle class is now going from prosperity to foreclosure but the low class folks have just gone from bad to worse - they never had a period of prosperity. They aren't being foreclosed upon because they never owned a house in the first place.
Not far from where I live is a neighborhood with houses that look as if they are being held together by elmer's glue - at best. They look one step away from being condemned. Children play in the yards of these houses. No doubt the children of the working poor. It is a sobering reality check everyday when I drive past these houses on my way to & from my child's school.
Ah yes, class, the all but forgotten concept here in the Land of Uncle Sam. Here, everybody claims to be middle class—even manifest proletarians. I suppose there’s some sense in it, if by class we mean not only socio-economic status but also sensibilities and personal outlook. You can be “working class” in terms of your income and position but be middling in your tastes and aspirations—or for that matter as elitist as the old French nobility, though I suppose that’s not very common.
ReplyDeleteI’ve noticed, as Squid says, that in recent decades the phrase “the poor” has almost dropped out of the political lexicon, and the poor tend to be cast as responsible for various national troubles, even though we aren’t exactly funneling the better part of our budget to the down-and-out. I suspect that a lot of that talk flows from bourgeois tribalism: “we’ve got ours; to hell with everybody else.” It’s dumb, too, because we really don’t have ours, and are seldom very far from falling into poverty. Most Americans, I’ll venture to say, are in the working class, and not very secure in their lifestyles: a health crisis or accident’s distance from ruin.
Anyhow, I would second Robert’s point about not adopting an anti-consumer outlook (not that anyone here was); our society flourishes upon excess, on desiring things beyond what we need. “O reason not the need!” as King Lear says to Regan:
Our basest beggars
Are in the poorest thing superfluous.
Allow not nature more than nature needs,
Man’s life is cheap as beast’s. Thou art a lady:
If only to go warm were gorgeous,
Why, nature needs not what thou gorgeous wear’st
Which scarcely keeps thee warm. (2.4)
The left in America has at times had a love affair with bashing “consumerism,” rejecting modernity, etc. If that is taken too far, one might as well go out and join the survivalists in some cave redoubt – yessiree, break out the Sam Andy™ dried vittles and have us a feast. What we need to do is not become the great unconsumers but rather learn how to honor Lear’s imperative of generous excess. Live well without being irresponsible or callous towards others or the planet. Of course, nobody listened to the nattering old king, so maybe that’s not the best way to make the point….
Anyhow, I guess the idea is to help others when you can and to participate in the economy to the extent that you can, without spending money that you don't actually have.
I have not been in the best of spirits lately and confess to hiding behind silly or frivolous comments to mask a depressed mood. It is not just the nightly news with grim reports of financial doom and gloom, or the prospect of friends and loved ones being sucked down a vortex. Recessions have come and gone; I have survived them all and will survive this too.
ReplyDeleteBut there is a nagging feeling that refuses to leave: How one can have wealth yet feel emotionally impoverished. My father equated wealth with respectability and spent his entire life in pursuit of both, and what I recall most about my childhood were his prolonged business trips away from home earning the means to buy things that would show-off his status. Later in life, he did not celebrate birthdays or holidays with my children or me. When he died, I liquidated the possessions that once glorified his life. What was the point of keeping them? They were about his life, not mine - his values, not mine.
What defines rich, middle class, or poor? I can think of families much poorer in material terms than the one I grew up in, yet far richer in emotional terms.
This season I will do my part to help others less fortunate than me, but I am not sure pious acts will bring much satisfaction. You see, I came from very poor family.
Dear Dino & Octo,
ReplyDeleteYou are both precisely right that concepts of "class" are more than about money. Which is actually what so infuriated me about the election nonsense of the $250,000 cap on the middle class. That dollar amount was ducking so many other issues. I can't help but wonder if our distaste in politics from using the term "low class" is because of fear of insulting people. Because "low class" carries the weight of social expectations/stereotypes as well - no college degree, poor grammar, trailer parks etc. In other words - the snob factor keeps us from admitting to the economic elephant in the room. So I guess, that's my issue with the defining of the middle class in terms of dollars - it masks so many other issues.
Octo - I am very sorry you have been feeling down. Such feelings cut across "class" lines for sure. And you are certainly right that money does not make people happy & vice versa. However - I do think strained economic circumstances can lead to emotionally troubling issues such as depression - I recently learned of a woman very close to me who is again falling apart - in large part because of her financial situation. She has always been the saddest person I know. So you have me thinking, Octo - would money turn her life & her outlook on life around? No - I don't think so. I think she would still be sad - it has become too much a part of her for her to easily shake it. I have only ever rarely seen her smile. But - I do think that a more stable financial situation would take away that "excuse" & perhaps afford her the opportunity to face her depression which she is now too poor to afford doing (meaning meds). Does that make sense? I've been thinking alot about her lately & your comment got me to thinking about her even more. She breaks my heart. She is the working poor.
And maybe that's the connecting factor between money & happiness with respect to all "classes." The "having plenty of" or the "stressful not having enough of" can both mask the simple enjoyment & embracing of life. This has at times been true in my own life. And it makes me mad when I feel like my happiness is being controlled by finances. Life is just simply too short.
I hope you feel better soon, Octo - but remember - emotionally poor family cycles can be broken. Reaching out with "pious acts" might make you feel better than you think. I always feel stronger myself when I can help others. Helping others reminds me that I am not as far gone as I think I am in my selfish, "woe is me" moments.
Finally - For what it's worth - an old boyfriend of mine from 20 or so years ago once said "Whenever I feel poor I go buy something. Then I realize that I'm not really poor because I was able to buy something. Then I stop complaining."
I have NEVER forgotten those words.
Squid
8pus, I'm sorry you are in a depressed place right now. I have been there, too.
ReplyDeleteI come from a place where once I was doing pretty well, then I lost nearly everything of monetary value and then I had to redefine the important things in life. Today, money is simply the vehicle that allows me to eat and maintain a roof over my head. I don't worry about having "enough." I have redesigned my life to be simple and much less stressful. And I never consider what "class" I fall into - I'm in the class that is learning life's lessons; that's plenty of class for me!
I never think of what I do for others as an act of piousness, but more of helping someone just like me. They are my brother or my sister and their lives count just as much as mine.
I think this time of year affects people more than others. Perhaps being in this age bracket causes us to reflect more. Whatever it is, I can't allow it to invade my life because I want each day to count for something.
I have a box of inspirational snippets that I have collected over time. I add to it as I find them. Each morning I do my thing which includes talking to God - and then I pull a snippet or two out of the box, to contemplate and try to apply to my day.
I always smile, no matter if I feel like it or not. A smile is a powerful force - It is amazing how the faces around me soften and the conversation becomes civil and pleasant when I enter a jail dorm with a smile. Making a small difference maybe, but it could be the beginning of imagining a better life and so help curb the recividism rate.
Your Dad was a man of his generation and I'm sure you are grieving for the missed opportunities when he could have been there and was not. He probably thought he was doing what was best; try to forgive him and move away from it. My parents divorced and it was many years before I re-established a real relationship with my father. We lost a lot of time, but I am so grateful for the opportunity to be adults together.
Life never fits into a neat package; there are disappointments, yes. But there are some wonderful surprises too. I choose to dwell on what wonderful event is waiting around the corner, knowing I may have the obstacles of disappointment to overcome on the way.
If class were about money, Trump would be a gentleman.
ReplyDelete