Some people already know this but, for the record, I work a VERY part time schedule at a jail. The medical department is small, tucked in the corner of one floor, consisting of an exam room, a pharmacy and several offices.
I usually bring my own dinner and rather than battle through three locked doors and an elevator ride to the dining room, I just find an empty office to sit in.
This weekend, I found myself in the psychiatrist’s office, spending a little quiet time before embarking on the chaotic journey known as evening med pass. There are two people who share this office; the (male) doc and his (female) assistant. Their walls are covered in various “art” and here are just a few things I learned in the psychiatrist’s office:
“Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.”
I usually bring my own dinner and rather than battle through three locked doors and an elevator ride to the dining room, I just find an empty office to sit in.
This weekend, I found myself in the psychiatrist’s office, spending a little quiet time before embarking on the chaotic journey known as evening med pass. There are two people who share this office; the (male) doc and his (female) assistant. Their walls are covered in various “art” and here are just a few things I learned in the psychiatrist’s office:
“Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.”
“This is a no whining zone.”
“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.”
Not pictured; "Dr. S____ is in the office; no girls allowed!"
My favorite ( also not pictured), “You’d have to be crazy to see a psychiatrist!”
I know, it doesn’t seem like I learned much, but I only had ½ hour …
Q: Why does psychotherapy take less time for a man than for a women?
ReplyDeleteA: Because when it's time to go back to childhood, the man is already there.
That last one is funny.
ReplyDeleteChildren have a better time than cranky old people.
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't know, Fogg - sometimes being a cranky old person has its perks; you can be as crazy as you want, say anything you want and people will either think you are "eccentric" or not getting any.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, but Mao's Cultural revolution lives in America - everything old is bad and so does the spirit of Howdy Doody, who for those who remember, promoted the idea that old meant stupid and repressive. In a world where we serve only to consume without question, cynics aren't understood.
ReplyDeleteFor my part, I haven't noticed any increase in respect with my accumulating years at all. Quite the opposite. If I argue that wherefore doesn't mean where, just because it sounds that way, it's because I'm old and out of touch, not because I'm talking to a balbative illiterate.
Of course I get into the movies for 5 bucks now, but of course they don't make movies for anyone over 25, do they?
I should have been a pair of ragged claws, but then some would argue that I am indeed.
"For my part, I haven't noticed any increase in respect with my accumulating years at all. Quite the opposite. If I argue that wherefore doesn't mean where, just because it sounds that way, it's because I'm old and out of touch, not because I'm talking to a balbative illiterate."
ReplyDeleteI totally agree, Fogg, but I just don't care what anyone else thinks; they'll find out soon enough when they hit our ages.
Rocky ...
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
I have not provided a source link for the above. Your feckless 8pus is PA today. What is "PA," you ask? Dial 1-800-PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE and follow the prompts.
Ummm, let's see, number 3... no you witch! Push 6!
ReplyDeleteOr maybe 1, but then I'll be here all day....
I have to go now; the voice in my head wants me to consult the oak tree out back (or was that burn the oak tree out back?)....