I only have two of my own and so, being in the mood today, I'll concentrate on two of my favorites. Let's start with Ted Haggard. Remember Ted, the hypocrite who tried to use tears and maudlin prayers to regain his status as someone fit to tell you how to live your life after he was exposed as having "prayer sessions" with a male prostitute? Well it seems he liked amateurs even more, having had a lengthy affair with a very young male parishioner who cost the Church a good deal of money to pay off. I wonder if the upcoming HBO documentary intended to rebuild his reputation will include this new embarrassment and whether all this money taken from the pockets of pious parishioners and intended for good works will be enough to whitewash the hypocrisy and the impudence of advising other people about the immorality of his own favorite pastime: buggering young men. I'd sooner ask Bernie Madoff for investment advice than listen to this self-appointed con-man. This finger is for you, Ted.
And speaking of flim-flam, what about the fantastically finger-worthy ex-Nazi in a dress from Rome who has the arrogance to condemn the United States for sending aid to sick and impoverished Africans without their strings attached. The Vatican has now condemned the "arrogance of those in power who think they can decide between life and death." I'd briefly summarize the arrogance of the organization that has been doing exactly that for about 1700 years, but even the brief version is far too lengthy for this venue. I'll limit the summation of my discontent to Rome's disregard for the lives of millions and millions of raped African women and the millions of AIDS infected pregnant women and the millions of African women with infected husbands who need protection. Sure, the few bucks taken from widows and orphans elsewhere in the world often go to heal the poorer and needier, or what's left over after paying off the children raped by agents of Rome, that is -- but no mention of birth control and no mention of Abortion. That would be immoral.
The beauty of the Finger lies in its brevity -- and so this finger is for you, Ratzinger -- and I really mean it.
The gall of those who would condemn helping these women because a family planning clinic might offer information on ALL their options.
ReplyDeleteSince the Vatican feels so strongly about this, perhaps they'd like to empty on little vault in order to take over providing aid, caring for the subsequent orphans, etc.
Of course, they COULD just step outside their own walls into the ghettoes of Italy and start by helping their own...
Captain: I only have two of my own ...
ReplyDeleteYou can borrow some of mine ... 2 + 8 = 10. Thats a whole flock of flinging birds.
And so many worthy candidates.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame them for not supporting reproductive rights with their own charities, but interfering with secular attempts means they still think they're God's own handmaidens and avenging angels.
There's nothing more dangerous - and usually obnoxious too - than someone who thinks he acts for God.
If he does nothing else of merit, electing President Obama will be worth it just for his having the balls to do this in the face of the holy rollers. What these idiots fail to realize is most of the country is behind the president and NOT supporting the religious nuttery.
ReplyDeleteYes, and it's funny to watch them parading around like drum majors, pretending outrage at everything Obama does as though he popularity level weren't three and a half times that of Bush.
ReplyDeleteIt's been used before, but you have to think of that Coyote who runs over the cliff and hasn't looked down yet.
Captain, with profound regrets, I am sad to report that there may NOT be enough fingers to around even if I donated all of mine:
ReplyDeleteRatzinger lifted the excommunication of Richard Williamson, a bishop who denies the Holocaust, asserts that God did not intend women to wear trousers or attend universities, and believes the 9/11 attacks were actually a U.S. government conspiracy.
According to Reuters: ”The move outraged Jews and progressive Catholics, and Church sources said it reflected Benedict's autocratic style in running the 1.1 billion-member Church, unlike his predecessor John Paul II who consulted widely … “The pope obviously did not tell the people he knew would likely oppose it," said one Church source."
I love good irony Captain. I could be excommunicated because I think pregnant rape victims should be allowed to decide for themselves whether to end a pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteBut this asshole conspiracy theorist that thinks the subjugation of women is Godly or something can be a member in good standing of the Catholic Faith.
You can borrow two of my fingers also Captain.
Fogg, I need all my fingers to type but I want to do my part - I would be happy to record an endless loop of "f**K you!" to be played at appropriate moments.
ReplyDeleteHmm, that's a lot of fingers, but ya gotta admit he deserves a forest of them.
ReplyDeleteI expected this sort of thing from Ratzi the Nazi and I'm only surprised it took him so long to show his true colors.
Trying to preserve the worst in us is something shared by almost every religion I know of - perhaps all of them, but this rush to escape modernism hasn't been seen since the last Papal war against modernism in the late 19th century.
Maybe we should all just photograph our middle fingers and nail them to the door of St. Peter's. Hier Stehe ich, ich kann nicht anders.