Last week I was given a pink rose – individually wrapped in cellophane. It didn’t look wilted but it didn’t look exactly vibrant either. And the same could be said of the giver & the rose’s symbolic gesture.
It was the day of my annual post-40 rite of passage – my mammogram. After my yearly, teeth-grittingly uncomfortable procedure, I re-clothed & headed for the exit of the clinic. As I was headed out the door, the receptionist called out – "oh wait – here." In distracted fashion she aimed the rose in my direction & called out for the next patient – her focus now attending to other business. As I made my way out of the clinic I thought – oh – a rose. A pink rose. What should I do with it? Not being a flower person I felt awkward. Could I stick it in my purse? But then it might not be seen. Should it be seen? Would I be causing offense to the “cause?” Is this my badge of . . . hope? . . . courage? . . . what? And, did I want everyone I saw to know I’d just had a mammogram evidenced by my being saddled with a pink rose?
PINK has become the color of breast cancer. Pink ribbon stickers on car bumpers, pink packaging in grocery stores proclaiming which products donate to the cause. All of this pinkness is wonderful – it has raised awareness about a major health issue. It has helped to raise money for research. Yes – all of this is great.
But this recent rose ceremony has given me pause.
Am I beginning to sound cynical? I do not mean to be. But I guess that is the whole point of this post. I was so puzzled by this ceremonial lack of ceremony of a symbol - & its efficacy. When do symbols begin to lose their symbol-ness? And, when they do – should we switch to new symbols that resonate more strongly? When does a well-intended gesture, such as mammogram clinics giving out pink roses – become just a routine gesture that becomes, well, just a gesture?
We Americans are infamous for overdoing things to the point of rendering them meaningless. Call it a cultural idiosyncrasy of ours, I guess. But may we please not do so to symbols, to causes, to gestures – that still SHOULD resonate with a sense of urgency.
And as for my pink rose – I am sincerely grateful to the person who initiated the idea - originally. No doubt with heartfelt good intentions. However – the manner in which my rose was bestowed upon me was that of an office worker fulfilling a duty. And she did. She saw that I got my rose. And – in her defense – if I had to give women pink roses all day everyday while tending to a myriad of other duties – I’d probably become a bit mechanical, ceremonially, myself.
There is a lot of meaningless and perfunctory nonsense going on in the name of "raising awareness," I agree.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's easier to wear a rubber band than to actually do something and of course in many cases there's not actually anything we can do. It's the same with the yellow roses and ribbons that seem to mean you support all wars and blame those who don't for the stupidity of it all, but I would be very surprised to know that someone seen carrying a pink rose had just had a mammogram or wanted you to be aware of mammograms or wanted to distract you from the recent studies casting doubt on the real benefits of having them at all.
Sometimes a rose is a rose and not a bumper sticker.
The semiotics of American life is a vast and often risible subject. Sometimes it's depressing, sometimes disgusting but most of the time it's about making a buck.
Perhaps the reason that I have no interest in identifying myself with causes and interests is that I do it here where the sentiments are mine and I get to explain them. What color of ribbon would express my feelings anyway?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions...
ReplyDeleteI'm not trying to imply whoever thought up this symbolic gesture is going to hell or anyplace else for that matter, it's just the first thing that came to mind.
The trouble with the symbolic gestures is they become mindless tasks if taken out of context.
Breast Cancer is now the cause du jour and all the silly trappings serve to diminish the seriousness of the issue.
Personally, I would have carried that rose until I found a particularly harassed looking woman, handed her the rose and said,"This is for you; have a wonderful day and take care of yourself."
You make a very valid point and interesting enough, today I get my mammogram done, but I don't believe that we get pink roses. Anyway, I think that many things get redundant after a while and lose the effectiveness. I also think it depends a lot on the cause discussed. My mom had breast cancer, so I appreciate maybe more than others the pink and the month of October. Now someone that has a child in the military might appreciate a yellow ribbon more than someone else that has no involvement. I hope you understand where I am going here because at the moment, my brain is drawing a blank on other symbols for causes, etc.
ReplyDeleteNothing can take the place of actually getting involved with a certain cause but if these ribbons, or a pink rose in your case make one person thankful and touched by it, then
I suppose it was worth it. It definitely could have been given out a different way though.
Good post...I like it when someone makes me stop and think about what I am going to say before I just type out the first thing that pops in my head.
Once something becomes a cause we really have no means to take it above that level. Once you have all the emotionalism of spreading the word about a cause where do you go next?
ReplyDeleteWhether the issue is our troops or mammograms how do you change the concept of 'awareness' and or 'support?"
What comes next?
My sister has a son who is 17 and he is autistic and her and I have gone from awareness, education, support to research over the last 15 years.
You want to care and support so many things but there is just so much of you to go around....
But then again I don't recycle because they left me a note on my recycling that they would not accept recycling from me unless I washed my containers first (seems like a waste of water to wash garbage) and the last time my bank asked me to donate to support breast cancer awareness I asked the young girl when the bank was going to do anything to promote testicular cancer awareness?
The things you get away with when one is a grumpy old man! :)
I have no idea why anyone wants to be young again...heck, you get away with murder being old and you get great discounts!
I'm glad you brought this subject up.
ReplyDelete2 1/2 years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother's sister died from it, my older sister had it in both breasts, but is alive and healthy.
I'm thankful that I had a wonderful group of doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital to see me though this horrendous ordeal.
But during this very frightening and challenging time, I did not seek a "support group," I did not join any group. I spent the time, as I went through the process of becoming whole again, reading lots of poetry, listening to lots of Schubert, Mozart, Beethoven, Verdi, and other soothing composers, and walking, walking, walking, through the streets, parks, and waterfronts of Boston. Oh, and I blogged. A lot.
I never participated in a walk for this or that or against this or that, joined any chat room, or spoke much about it, except to my family and close friends.
This worked for me, but other people face cancer in other ways. A very close friend, a mother of two young children, was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after I was. She went into therapy, sent out communications via email on the progress of her treatment, went on the Komen Walk Against Cancer, etc.
We all battle that bastard in our own unique ways. The point is to rise above the fear, the pain, and the heartbreaking feeling of hopelessness. Roses, walks, emails, Mozart--all weapons to use in our struggle.
If someone had given me a pink rose, I'd understand the gesture as some sort of solidarity with those of us who face the beast and with every ounce of courage defeat it.
I'm healthy and in 2 1/2 years from now I expect to say I beat the bastard.
Shaw - thank you so much for sharing your story. It brings up other thoughts I have had on the "pinkness" of breast cancer awareness.
ReplyDeleteLast year I went through a breast cancer scare myself. I was terrified. After a special diagnostic exam - I was cleared. However - until then - I reacted in the way I generally do to crises - trying to put the whole thing out of mind, not talking about it, trying to focus on anything & everything else. The rose given to me last week made me think - what if things had turned out differently for me last year? What if I had had to go through breast cancer treatment? Would I have wanted PINK reminders everywhere of what I was trying to survive? or would I have prefered to try to continue functioning through it all in a world devoid of ever-present, scary reminders of my current struggle? I don't honestly know.
Does that make sense? As you say, Shaw, everyone reacts differently. The "pinkness" everywhere presumes a world in which all women want to share their fears in order to cope whereas some of us - like me - might seek comfort in not focusing upon it - call it cowardly or turtle-like - but it is a coping mechanism.
Taking a broader view, in general, about causes & their use of symbols - thanks everyone for your comments. I am reminded of years ago when Whoopi Goldberg hosted the oscars. Her opening routine dealt with ribbons & how she had had so many requests from so many causes to wear their ribbons on her oscar gown that she'd opted not to wear any.
Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Pink Rose Tree
ReplyDeleteI suppose the pink roses and ribbons and bracelets for breast cancer thing is a reminder that over time, even the most profound symbolism hollows out. Some philologists (and certainly some literary types, like Percy Shelley) used to say that initially every word was deeply metaphoric, but over time it bleached dry until we could sling it around in the most instrumental way. Walk, don't walk, and all that. It is perhaps in winged poesy that we meet words being themselves (difficult, complex or simple, as the case may be, and often beautiful), where they are least about communication and most about the phenomenon of language as the dwelling-place of humanity.
Anyhow, this hollowing seems to be the fate of all symbolism, even the symbolism integral to religious experience. People start going to church not to worship but simply to see and be seen in their Sunday best. And when thou goest into the synagogue, saith a certain wise figure from the Gospels, do not as the heathen do, for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking….
Of course, I don't know that I would offer up as a solution an awareness campaign for symbolism. Then we would have to come up with a color and a ribbon and a flower for it, which would all be too much for a saurischean simpleton like myself.
On the whole, I try not to be too bothered by cheapened symbols (yellow ribbons, pink roses, and so forth) – there is usually at least a grain or two of genuine good will in them, or in any event we can interpret them that way. As has been said already, a rose will always be a rose, and a fine ribbon will be what it is, somewhere. No amount of hollow symbols will do away with Dante's vision of la rosa sempiterna towards the end of the Paradiso, and even our pop culture simulacra may, under the right circumstances, bring hope or good cheer to someone. And hey, it will give some troll yet another opportunity to belch out, "So how's that hope and cheer thing workin' out for ya? Huh? Huh? Thought so.
Shaw,
ReplyDeleteWrote my rather abstract comment before reading your comment -- it's good to hear that you are well after such an experience. Thanks for your post.
Shaw, I hope that by agreeing with Dino about the hollowness and short life of gestures and symbols I don't seem callous. Support groups are hardly empty rhetoric.
ReplyDelete"initially every word was deeply metaphoric"
I think Shelley is underesteemed sometimes. Most of what we say in Pop speech is made of stale and unrecognized metaphor and yes, a rose by any other name eventually wilts and dries up ( sometimes not as fast as the words it replaces )
Did I tell you all recently how much I appreciate being allowed on your site?
ReplyDeleteHi Squid, first of all, let me offer that perhaps you need to try another clinic; a mammogram should not be a teeth-gritting experience; i've had quite a few and they weren't even uncomfortable. Also, I agree with the other comments: sometimes a rose is just a rose (really, how can you not love a flower?) and I, too, would give it to the next person I thought could use a lift. Finally, I do get your thoughts about the "causes" and all of those recognizable overused one-liners and stick on ribbons that overpopulate vehicles (my daughter and I want to collect a bazillion of them and put them all on one car...someone else's of course...just for the yuks!)
ReplyDeleteI do want to add that having been in the service industry for many years the receptionist was only doing what she was told to do, and there's no way to know what kind of day she'd had, ya know? BTW, hope your results are only good.
Truth, you are most welcome here.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I suppose you all remember the delightful Seinfeld episode about "the ribbon bully." The one in which the K-Man refuses to wear an AIDS-Walk ribbon and gets beaten up for his contrariness. One of my favorites.... "Who? Who does not want to wear the ribbon?!" You must wear the ribbon!
I really think it just differs on the person involved. My mom had breast cancer and she is a survivor and cancer free. She hates the pink and the reminders of what she went through, while it reminds me of what a brave woman my mom is and how she beat it.
ReplyDelete"a mammogram should not be a teeth-gritting experience"
I don't know about that statement, it's very uncomfortable. Maybe that all depends on the size of your....well, you know where I am going with that. Not that it stops me from getting one though.
Shaw, glad to hear your healthy. From what I know of you, you can handle anything thrown at you!!!!