We have a BREAKING NEWS update: an anonymous source from Oslo contacted us with earth-shattering news: announcing Obama as this year's Peace Prize winner was premature and an unfortunate mistake.It turns out the real winner was Jesus Christ from Jerusalem, a long-time community organizer and religious leader. The news has not yet been officially released, with the exception of an unsourced, so far, leak to The Ga-Ga Land Dispatch.
TGGLD reporters have the latest reactions of The Ga-Ga Land most eminent citizens to this explosive story:
Rush Limbaugh: "Something has happened here that we all agree with the Taliban and Iran about and that is he doesn't deserve the award. This fully exposes the illusion that is Jesus Christ. And with this 'award' the elites of the world are urging Christ, THE MAN OF PEACE, to not do the surge in Afghanistan, not take action against Iran and its nuclear program and to basically continue his intentions to emasculate the world and the United States... They love a weakened, neutered U.S and this is their way of promoting that concept. I think God has a great sense of humor, too. Not to mention he is obviously partial to his only son." Limbaugh also told Newsweek that "the Nobel gang just suicide-bombed themselves."
"I did not realize the Nobel Peace Prize had an affirmative action quota," wrote Erick Erickson, of the site RedState.com, "but that is the only thing I can think of for this news. Obviously they chose the Jew here to make a political statement."
"Jesus Christ isn't the first minority to win the Nobel Peace Prize, but he's the first to win it without having accomplished anything," wrote John Miller, of the National Review. "Christ's award is simply the projection of wishful thinking."
Indeed, the citizens of The Ga-Ga Land started an online petition just seconds after the announcement was made, objecting to the "absurd decision to award J. Christ Nobel Peace Prize."
"I predict right now that he will find a way to basically turn it down," Time Magazine's Mark Halperin told MSNBC's Morning Joe. "I think he is going to say, I share this with the world or whatever. I don't think he'll embrace this. Because there is no upside. He is the son of God -- does he really need a Nobel Prize?"
Bill Kristol suggests that Jesus Christ will be kicked out in 2012, based on the fact that the Soviet Union collapsed a year after Mikhail Gorbachev won a Nobel Peace Prize.
A prominent member of The Ga-Ga Land elite, Glenn Beck, says Christ doesn't deserve the prize, but the Tea Party protesters do. He credited an "extraordinarily powerful global progressive network for bagging Jesus the win," and added, "for Christ's sake, I hope he rejects this phony award and gives it to me."
National Review's Andy McCarthy says the prize is already damaged goods, because Yasser Arafat once won it, and so did the hopeless pinko Jimmy Carter.
Joe Schmoe, a president of the local Chamber of Commerce in Ga-Ga City was somewhat less critical: "I, for one, am glad that Jesus Christ won instead of Obama. A Nobel Peace Prize for Obama would be a joke. C'mon, the guy has two wars going, and today he bombed the Moon! Peace, my (expletive)."
An anonymous source from the White House said that upon hearing the breaking news, President Obama sighed and muttered, Thank you, Jesus!
H/t HuffPo
Cross-posted at The Middle of Nowhere (where else?)
That is AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteThanks Elizabeth. Jesus would have no luck with this crowd.
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly. I am both surprised and deeply humbled by your praise. Let me be clear, I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of aspirations held by leftist satirists of all nations. To be honest, I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures who've been honored by this praise, but I humbly accept it on behalf of the All-Mighty Satire.
ReplyDeleteBesides, it's about freakin' time!
(lol)
The beauty Elizabeth is the mega-self regard your targets wallow in. Incuriosity and off the scale hubris make for juicy targets. And the non-stop blather of these media figures ensure a steady stream of material
ReplyDeleteI read a very interesting item somewhere today. Rush Limbaugh apparently has joined a consortium to purchase the NFL St. Louis Rams.
A couple of current players ( NY Giants I believe) are quoted as saying they would never play for a team with Limbaugh as an owner and they would encourage other players not to do so either.
Jesus! That was funny.
ReplyDelete[That is not a blasphemous interjection. I'm actually addressing the Prince of Peace Prize winner and stating a fact.]
Who is the picture supposed to be? Eric the Red? If we ever needed proof of how we create deities in our own image, here stands the Viking Jesus wearing a bedsheet.
ReplyDeleteToo bad the 5' 4", balding, short haired, hook nosed Jew with a bushy beard who always wore a hat isn't here to laugh at our presumption and Aryan arrogance.
But yes, the real guy was a liberal, nailed up by conservatives - that's what they do.
No, no, no...this is erroneous. It was Jesus H. Christ, of Cleveland, Ohio, that won the award...not Jesus Christ the Carpenter/savior/son of HimHer.
ReplyDeleteJust setting the record straight.
For Mr. Obama & those with whom he has found it so fashionable to agree:
ReplyDelete"Men have been taught that it is a virtue to agree with others. But the creator is the man who disagrees. Men have been taught that it is a virtue to swim with the current. But the creator is the man who goes against the current. Men have been taught that it is a virtue to stand together. But the creator is the man who stands alone."
Perhaps Mr. Obama finds it more cozy to 'stand together' than, by showing courage, to have to stand alone.
I suspect that the Nobel Peace prize was given to Obama to send a message... to whom and for what purpose, who knows
ReplyDeleteTo A.R.,
ReplyDeleteMr. Obama has already run into criticism for not "agreeing" immediately with Gen. McChrystal on Bush's Afghanistan war,and he also disagreed with Mr. Bush's torture policy. Mr. Obama is also disagreeing with an entire political party in this country that thinks we don't need health care reform.
That's a lot of disagreeing on rather large issues.
And, very creative, I might say.
Shaw - we should probably also point out that, among other issues, it was Obama's willingness to work with other world leaders for peace that helped get him elected - that would be the majority standing together.
ReplyDelete"Creative" or not, it certainly was effective.
Wherever it came from, the idea of the lone "creator" operating outside of and unappreciated or mocked by the culture is the product of 19th century romance novels and the paradigm describes few, if any, of the men and women who have created all the significant accomplishments of mankind. That's more true today than it was back when you would be burned alive for building a barometer or looking upwards with a telescope.
ReplyDeleteThe meme owes it's persistence to it's utility as a salve to the wounds of the failed, who would rather blame the critics or the public for the relentless failures of his inventions, his policies, his theories and his efforts.
It seems like a Randian thing -- the superman misunderstood and under appreciated because of the jealousy of the inferior orders. It's why 9 year old boys read Superman comics and dream of being a ninja. It's why John Lennon was shot. It's dangerous stuff in adults.
@ShawKenawe
ReplyDelete"Obama is also disagreeing with an entire political party in this country that thinks we don't need health care reform."
The American form of Government is one in which the People (a majority thereof) put pressure on the G'ment for policy-making, not the other way around. Since the Nobel winner is so clearly dissonant with a very large sector of the People (not simply one political party, as you suggest), one must wonder if he is suited for American governance. I for one, do.
As for his creativity, it's painfully obvious to the whole of our society (and the world as well) that his world view & thus political thought process is straight out of Marx, Engels, et. al. His foreign policy 'creativity' conceivably makes Noam Chomsky proud. Rather like the good pupil of Leftist indoctrination, & hardly creative.
@ Capt.Fogg
ReplyDelete"the idea of the lone "creator" operating outside of and unappreciated or mocked by the culture is the product of 19th century romance novels and the paradigm describes few, if any, of the men and women who have created all the significant accomplishments of mankind."
...or the product of 19th century American history - Abraham Lincoln, or of 20th century American history - Ronald Reagan...both of whom held novel and creative ideas, were mocked by the culture wherein they lived, and, even so, contributed mightily to the "significant accomplishments of mankind" (but that is rather sexist language, don't you think? I prefer "significant accomplishments of humanity.")
And then there is the Hitler parallel...a man who certainly believed himself to be "operating outside of and unappreciated and mocked" by his culture.
Capt.Fogg: "The meme owes it's persistence to it's utility as a salve to the wounds of the failed, who would rather blame the critics or the public for the relentless failures of his inventions, his policies, his theories and his efforts."
Yes, and I believe it was he who chose one particular "critic, public" (assume here, Jews) for the "relentless failures" that had become post-WWI Germany. Not such an extinct meme.
As MattOsborne so clearly states in his response to my comment a few posts down, "Hitler sold his nation on a return to some mythological golden age...Obama won the election with hope and change."
Yes, and to the ear of early 20th century Germany, it must have sounded brilliantly similar (blame the Jews//Bush administration/big business/capitalism...exterminate them all!...we will rebuild this nation 'brick by brick'). Concluding, I hardly think the results of Hilter's rise became the stuff of romance novels, 19th century or otherwise.
Thus, "it's dangerous stuff in adults." Right, you are.
@Alisa Rosenbaum:
ReplyDeleteSo hope and change = liebensraum?
On what planet?
IN WHAT DIMENSION?!
It seems AR is an AR fan. Whichever way this reads, AR or AR or what-EV-err (Octopus does enjoy his daily ambiguity), your comment ticks me off. How I detest certitudes and platitudes imbedded in rudely quoted beatitudes from those of little aptitude who get unglued whenever any dissimilitude is spewed.
ReplyDeleteWhen the tendentious turn tedious, beware those tentacles!
Matt - I believe it is the same dimension where he/she fancies themselves the reincarnation of Ayn Rand...
ReplyDeleteAs for the majority cited in that rather pointless rant to Shaw; the MAJORITY made their wishes known last November - making the most noise does not count as extra people.
BTW, Mizz Galt, fluent Chomsky spoken here.
ReplyDeleteThat was a good one. Although in reality Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize is not so funny considering the fact that the prize is somehow discredited by now and I just cannot imagine, that any future winners would acknowledge it as of some value. But at least we got good jokes out of it.:-) Julie
ReplyDeleteJulie - there is a lot of awkward strain associated with the awarding of the prize to Obama. I believe he may be one of the most discomfitted by this award.
ReplyDeleteI put such little stock in awards and prizes, I mean how silly is it for Hollywood to give out awards to other Hollywoodites for some film they made a gazillion dollars for making?
Past recipients of the Nobel prizes have been men and women who have given much of themselves in service to humanity and there are those who haven't even been considered for the prize who give much of themselves to others - not for glory and bragging rights but because they hold a set of values and ideals that they are devoted to and many people have benefitted because these men and women were on this earth.
I hope the President will use the award to further peace in the world and I hope he will be humbled into returning to his original campaign promises to us - the nation he serves.
Alisa, really. Your post is so absurdly hyperbolic and self referential that it's impossible to read without guffaws. You've never read Marx or Engels, you have no idea what I'm talking about or what they were talking about and all you can do is to keep referring back to some worn out doctrines long since abandoned to the same trash heap of Utopian wreckage as the Marxism, Fascism and social Darwinism it so closely resembles.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why I'm replying at all unless it's for the comedic value. But no, it's not painfully obvious to the world - you're painfully oblivious to the world and that the world laughs at you and the arrogant assertion that your loony 5% is a majority or "a large segment" -- and yes, we have a conservative movement that is trying to stifle the will of about 3/4 of the population and a President that's trying to uphold democracy. You've got it precisely backward, which is the definition of preposterous.
Trying to portray Obama as a Marxist and a Nazi is the game of an insane person and I don't mean that in a colloquial sense -- I mean insane, since no amount of naivete, ignorance or stupidity could account for your bizarre viewpoint. It would be easier to describe you as a damned liar and opponent of everything good and decent, but so one would be that way without that basic derangement you display.
No, really, the most creative people and the greatest creations come for the most part from incremental work by many people working both in parallel and sequentially. That's obvious even from an educated layman's perusal of history, but of course you've never actually studied history, you've been lead through it by some Randian cult leaders, cherry picking little bits, inventing others and plastering it all over to look like a hero on horseback.
The only reason I continue with you other than that you deserve such ridicule is that you're an example of the dangers of combining a weakness for cultic subordination with overarching egotism and profound ignorance. Stupidity alone can't explain it.
You're so outclassed here your continued presence only illustrates my appraisal of your derangement.
Dummheit ist auch eine natĆ¼rliche Begabung mit du, nicht wahr? It's LEBENSRAUM. Liebensraum would be a place you made love in - kind of like a whorehouse. Gotteswillen!
ReplyDeleteI know, it's not nice to make fun of the handicapped, but God help me, you're hilarious nd you've thrown away any claim to respect you might have had. KƤmpfen nicht nur die Gƶtter mit der Dummheit vergebens.
Really the only reason right wing politics exists at all is to make ignorant and unintelligent people like you confident enough to make utter asses of themselves. Aren't you ashamed? Even just a little?
Got any smug ideas about quantum mechanics or anything else way over your head you can make an ass of yourself over?
"I just cannot imagine, that any future winners would acknowledge it as of some value. But at least we got good jokes out of it.:-)"
ReplyDeleteI'm not in a position to judge the mathematics and science or even the Economics prize winners. The literature lauriates have contained some pretty boring and banal authors for decades though and yes, the peace prize often raises eyebrows, but as to value, remember it comes with a check for a million and a half bucks.
Certainly, whatever Obama might have done to deserve it, reversing Bush's blustering and reckless foreign policies that have cost hundreds of thousands of lives and set us up as everyone's enemy counts for something though and who the hell else would they give it to these days?
We had less fuss though, when they gave it to Yasser freaking Arafat and that shows what this is really about - finding anything and everything to bash Obama so he can't fix what the Republicans broke.
Oh yes, and by the way, the world is still laughing at us - and we still deserve it.
@ MattOsborne
ReplyDeleteThe expansion/aggression philosophy of the Third Reich is clearly not the subject about which I was speaking in my comment. Review it, and you will see that propoganda, emotional manipulation and playing to human narcissistic self pity was its subject.
Oh yes, and Capt. Fogg is correct: you certainly should learn to use a German/American dictionary (and spell your insults correctly) as well as Capt. Fogg does. (Or is he merely impressing us with his nimble bilingualism?). Perhaps he knows a little French, n'est pas?
I do regret, however, that he insulted you so.
@ Octopus
ReplyDeleteSuperb. You've accomplished the English/English dictionary.
Now, what exactly 'ticked you off,' other than my disagreement with the premise of this post? Is this to be an echo canyon, that only a few like-mindeds can inhabit? If so, one would think life would become sorely monotonous.
@ Catp.Fogg
I shudder at your self-assuming omniscience. A little respect for other's capabilities and experiences might serve you well.
"You're so outclassed here your continued presence only illustrates my appraisal of your derangement."
Oh? Have I not provided at least the benefit of some kinetic energy here? Some rethinking of assumptions and re-articulation of world views? (I dare not think I influenced anyone to rethink their vehement allegiance to all things Obama.)
Good evening.
Boring---self absorbed---childish = Alisa. Go away. You have made zero points, and as you have stated, changed no minds. Why? Repetitive malarkey.
ReplyDelete@Alisa Rosenbaum
ReplyDelete"propoganda (sic), emotional manipulation and playing to human narcissistic self pity" is not an accurate description of the Obama campaign OR his style of governance. You are projecting these qualities because they aptly describe your heroine-philosopher. Atlas Shrugged is silly propaganda by a deeply narcissistic cult leader. When William Buckley challenged the basis of her novel she wept and screamed at him; Rand was hardly the emotionless rationalist you imagine her to have been. Indeed, all her relationships were built on emotional manipulation; she was a psychic vampire.
AR cum AR: "Oh? Have I not provided at least the benefit of some kinetic energy here? Some rethinking of assumptions and re-articulation of world views?
ReplyDeleteThe only echo I hear is your repetitiveness. And the only kinetic energy unleashed here is your cloying annoyance. With respect to rethinking one's assumptions, if this were a two-way street, I would respect a two-way joust, but inasmuch as you are pushy little pedant, your hypocrisy is duly noted. If you're so stuck on cultism, may I suggest Jim Jones. At least his cult offered a certain definitive ... finality.
That would be n'est-ce pas of course and the pretense that anyone here is a slavish follower of Obama is a prop you create for your own purposes and like the rest of your borrowed assertions, not factual.
ReplyDelete"I shudder at your self-assuming omniscience."
I shudder at your pretentiousness and ignorance -- a thing so vast and deep that you haven't stopped to consider the credentials of the people you're lecturing to as though they were candidates for recruitment. There's at least one psychologist and an economist here and no idiots.
A poseur like you has little recourse but to make it seem as though being better educated and more nearly sane is funny or disadvantageous, but this is about honesty as much as about anything else -- and you're a phony, of course.
"A little respect for other's [sic]capabilities and experiences might serve you well."
Why is it that people make grammatical solecisms when demanding respect for the intellect they pretend to? It's almost universal and it always follows on the heels of some insulting and idiotic post they've uncritically cribbed from Lyndon Larouche or Ayn Rand or Bonzo, the Wonder Chimp?
What capabilities are you talking about? Being impervious to fact, oblivious to history, reason and French? Perhaps if you offered more than your peremptory proclamations unsupported by history you'd have some respect, but you don't and you don't and I'm tired of trading insults with a prattling little worm. If you have nothing to back up your wild and ridiculous assertions - and you don't - get out of here.
"There's at least one psychologist and an economist here and no idiots."
ReplyDeleteMy humble congratulations.
"A poseur like you...and you're a phony, of course."
Of course.
The predictability of this group holds lively entertainment value (lurking is an interesting hobby): Echo canyon hears dissonant voice, canyon-mates embark on search-defame-destroy mission, irascible mates band together to silence dissonance...
...and the Left (at least those betokened here) is ever so proud of their 'tolerance' of diversity; their championing of dissent...until they are even modestly defied, which is all that has ensued here.
@jadedj
Boring? Alisa perhaps, but this! this has been a fascinating specimen of group dynamics in action.
@Capt.Fogg
Do not fret, I will not return for some time. (At least not to openly pain you with my discordant notions.)
Enjoy the canyon.
Alisa, you have contributed NOTHING to this comment thread except TAUNTS. The frequency of your TAUNTS has degenerated into harassment. Read our comment policy.
ReplyDeleteConsider yourself banned from this place, and if you show up one more time, your comments will be unceremoniously deleted, so don't waste your time or ours.
I agree with 8pus; this is so obviously a troll who is wasting our time and our intellect.
ReplyDeleteDanke!
ReplyDeleteI love the hauteur behind the "humble" congratulations and I love the conflation of umbrage taken at idiotic and unsubstantiated claims claims with "opposition" as though open mindedness meant idiocy.
ReplyDeleteSuch people love that empty myth about the lone "creator" despised by the lazy masses, because it's the conceit of the loser to think he'd be on top but for the jealousy of others. Thus the attraction of the cult that gives them the illusion that they can talk down while looking up and ignore the laughter.
But anyway, you know Ayn Rand was a Dionysian high priestess who contracted gonorrhea from the Minotaur who had to change her name to ŠŠ»ŠøŃŠ° Š Š¾Š·ŠµŠ½Š±Š°ŃŠ¼, or Alisa Roasnbaum to avoid the Minoan draft and fled to Russia and became a Bolshevic and antiSemite.
Ronald Reagan was a black man with pigmentation problems, George Bush is a transexual and John McCain is he illegitimate son of a Panamanian drug dealer who crashed while flying drugs from Cambodia to California. Abe Lincoln was born in Manchuria and it's just a myth that there was slavery in America. It's just a bid for sympathy -- and reparations.
George Washington was a Muslim and the world is secretly controlled by an olympian cult of chrome-plated blonde Ć¼bermenschen dreaming up Utopian paradises where people look up to them with adulation. How can you doubt all this, for hath not the leader spoken? Are you some kind of reactionary Liberals?
And aren't we predictable in our dismay? Why we might as well be a closed minded cult ourselves!
Captain, all very well stated, of course, except for this: A neophyte blogger with the emotional maturity of an adolescent is just not worth our time, and the troll already got far more attention than was deserved.
ReplyDeleteQ: What makes teenagers and trolls the same, but different from terrorists?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
And you're allowed to shoot them. In a free country, we'd be allowed to blow these idiots away. Damned Gummint!
ReplyDelete