How ridiculous! But not as ridiculous as this:
Q: Why did the octopus cross the road?
A: To enslave humanity and save it from itself!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
(O)CT(O)PUS IN THE NEWS
This video of an octopus commandeering a coconut appeared tonight on all major news networks, including ABC, BBC, CNN, MSNBC, and WTFNN. What's the big deal? Shall I consider this an affront? An insult to my intelligence? Have you never seen an octopus commandeer a coconut before?
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Dear Octo, I've known for some time that octos are super bright, able to write witty and thoughtful articles 'n all, but coconuts? That's the first I hear. And yes, it is amazing. (And adorable.) :)
ReplyDeleteBTW, WTFNN?!
ReplyDeleteLOL!
Octo: Well, since it's the first, how about a listing in Guinness? What talent! What grace!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth said... BTW, WTFNN?!
ReplyDeleteWTFNN = What The Fuck News Network (i.e. Fox)
I've found all sorts of eight legged friends using their suckers to lodge themselves tightly into abandoned conch shells, tin cans and old rubber boots. Why not a coconut?
ReplyDeleteI do want to disavow any intention of associating conch suckers with Fox News however. Cephalopods have brains, after all.
Sure, Capt., they've lodged themselves into abandoned objects, but have they transported them at long distances and assembled different pieces together? And then tried to block the cameras when found out they were being spied on? I think not! Clearly, we have a very superior intelligence at work here, as well as admirable modesty. ;)
ReplyDeleteI think he was trying to eat the camera actually. As to modesty, any bits he'd want to hide wouldn't be recognizable to me anyway.
ReplyDeleteDear God, Capt., what's happened to your face?
ReplyDeleteWell that's what happens after a few hours dealing with trolls -- as Nietzsche said, you have to be careful not to turn into one and I guess I let my guard down.
ReplyDeleteBTW, maybe he tried to eat the camera, poor thing. But given his smarts, I suspect he (she?) was pissed off about being filmed, thinking something along the lines of,
ReplyDeleteDamn! Have humans no shame? Do they really have to snoop everywhere? Now everyone will know what we do with coconuts. And the pressure that comes with this discovery will be unbearable. Next thing you know, they'll expect us to write blogs...
Seems to me the smarty-legs was trying to keep his secret to himself. (As if hiding in a coconut was not enough of a clue. Man, those humans are dim. And bad-mannered.)
I see, Capt. Yeah, that 'splains it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. Hope it's a temporary condition.
Capt. Fogg:
ReplyDeleteDidn't Nietzsche famously write in Thus Spake Zarathustra that octopi "muddy their waters to make them appear deep?"
OCTO!! My dearest, sweetest companion of the deep - this video made my day (um - evening) . . .
ReplyDeleteseriously fascinating stuff! most captivating few minutes of video I've seen in awhile. Kinda makes me feel like I should cautiously look over my own ocean dwelling shoulder (tentacle) - never know when I might be caught messing around with a . . . . . . .
Jawohl, I think the line is:
ReplyDeleteIn's wasser schwimmt der Krake
Er macht es immer ganz Opake
-Nietzsche- Also sprach der Tintenfisch
The Kraken
ReplyDeleteBelow the thunders of the upper deep,
Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous and secret cell
Unnumber'd and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the lumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge sea-worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
- Lord Alfred Tennyson -
Go ahead. Tease me. Poke fun at me. Have your laughs. Is there no sense of pity and loss! Only once “by man and angels” will you see the Kraken; and only once will you see this realization of consciousness and sentience and the impossibility of another chance, for it has been decreed: “There shall be only one (O)CT(O)PUS; afterwards, no more.”
Goodness gracious, Octo, what are you trying to tell us? Should we be alarmed?
ReplyDeleteFirst, thanks to vicious trolls, Capt. Fogg gets an extreme makeover, which makes him unrecognizable, and now you're hinting at death -- glorious and spectacular, but irreversible all the same.
Yes, there is already a tremendous sense of pity and loss, if you want it -- by all means, enjoy! Just stay alive, OK? Roaring, battening upon huge sea-worms 'n all, and with huge sponges of millennial growth above you, if you must. Whatever tickles your eight-legged fancy. We understand. (We think...;)
Go ahead. Tease me. Poke fun at me. Have your laughs. Call me vain. Call me melodramatic. Whatever. I understand (sob).
ReplyDeleteAlright, if you insist: Octo, you mighty Krake, you are vain, melodramatic, and whatever. There. Feeling better yet?
ReplyDeleteEs war einmal ein Kraken,
ReplyDeleteder dachte an den Haken:
„Auf keinen Fall auf den Tisch - wie ein Hering-oder manch anderer Fisch.“
Eines Tages kam ein Angelmann,
der wünschte sich ein Fischlein dran.
Nach vielen , vielen Stunden,
da hat er eins gefunden.
Die Krake guckt erschrocken:
„Nun sitzt er auf’m Trocken!“
-Ruben Raetsch-
(O)CT(O)PUS sagt:
ReplyDelete"Fischers Fritze fischt frische Fische,
frische Fische fischt Fischers Fritze."
Und hier ist dein neuer Gravatar.
O freunde, nicht diese Toene
ReplyDeleteSondern laest uns angenehmere anstimmen -- und freudenvollere
Oder mindestens Weinachtsvollere.
O Tintenfisch
O Tintenfisch
Wie treu sind die tentakeln.
Du spritzt die Tinte jeden Tag
und trinkst Kafee mit vielen Schlag.
O Tintenfisch. . .
OK, I give up
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
ReplyDeleteKeep posting stuff like this i really like it
ReplyDelete