Imagine that you have an enemy who wants to defeat you. (For many of us, this is true in one sense or another -- and lately the Republicans frankly seem hell-bent on playing that role!) That enemy may or may not be able to overpower you. But sometimes it can find a powerful ally against you, an ally inside your own psyche, in fact.
This enemy within the gates is the tendency, which we all have, to dwell on the negative, to wallow in gloom and doom. Everyone's situation includes both good and bad. Even if you were the most fortunate person on Earth, you could easily make yourself utterly miserable if you insisted on contemplating only the unpleasant aspects of your situation (for there would still be some) while dismissing or ignoring the positive.
It's startling how often one sees people do this. All is lost. We can't win. The good guys are no better than the bad guys. What we've accomplished counts for nothing -- only the things we've (so far) failed to do really matter.
The reason this matters is that the way we perceive our situation can affect how we deal with our situation. Wallowing in doom and gloom leads to pessimism. Pessimism leads to despair. Despair leads to paralysis. And paralysis leads to defeat even when defeat was not inevitable. If you convince yourself that everything is hopeless, you will not take action, because you will have trapped yourself in a state of mind where you believe that taking action is futile or will even be counterproductive, regardless of the actual track record of such action in the real world. This is why the enemy within the mental gates is so dangerous.
This may be part of the appeal -- defeatism legitimizes laziness and inaction. If the game is rigged against you and you can't win, why do anything? Might as well take the easy way out -- sit on the sidelines and carp at the people who are trying to accomplish something. If those people point out that some things have, in fact, been accomplished and therefore the defeatist passivity is unwarranted, just call them names or ignore them.
Who gains from this kind of thinking? Only those who want to defeat us.
If you fight for what you want, you might not get it. If you don't fight for it, you definitely won't get it.
Ok, ok, so I won't move to Australia just yet. :-)
ReplyDelete{{{Infidel}}}! I've been sort of the lone Pollyanna around here, always seeking that silver lining.
ReplyDeleteI now have a twinner at the Swash Zone, hooray!!!!
But the track of your thoughts does make perfect sense. I have known people who should have had the world by the ass and yet they were paralyzed by fear and indecision and so went nowhere.
Life is not for sissies; you must go after it courageously and with gusto because this is it! The is no do-overs.
Amen to that.
ReplyDeleteAlthough the extreme forms of this mentality do give us conspiracy theories and Hollywood thriller movies, so at least it's good for entertainment value.
Capt. Fogg: Please don't -- we need all hands on deck here!
ReplyDeleteRockyNC: There have been times when things looked very dark -- 2001 comes to mind -- but as you say, life is not for sissies. In a year or two we'll look back and be amazed that there was so much pessimism at the beginning of 2010.
Patrick M: Very true. I do wish that the conspiracy theories would stay in the Hollywood thriller movies -- we have political ideas floating around now (notably in teabaggerdom) that wouldn't pass muster in an X-Files script bull session!
True, 'tis true. But the Democratic mascot is a donkey, you know, and cousin Eeyore's watchword is "no point in bothering." Let's just wait for the mean Republicans to pull our tails off again. Doesn't matter anyway....
ReplyDeleteThis weekend, I gave serious thought to going back to Europe. Having lived in London in the 1980s and Paris in the 1990s, these were periods of personal growth for me. I feel this country is going nowhere ... worse than nowhere ... rapid decline is what I foresee.
ReplyDeleteI will probably keep my condo in Florida and return for the winter; but I am damn fed up American culture (the lack thereof), our media wasteland, and our political situation (the worst ever).
I blame Republicans for the politics of "NO" and the decline in our quality of life ... not just in economic terms. Well-being also derives from a sense of hope. For me, the Republicans have destroyed that too.
I am giving myself a year to decide where to go.
OCTOPUS - To turn your argument around, I grew up in England, and traveled around western Europe, lived in France and Holland for a while, traveled to Asia and the South Pacific and loved it. Came to the US in 1985 and living here became a period of personal growth for me. I think if you are willing to grow, that's what you do, no matter where you are.
ReplyDeleteHolte - After every period of living abroad, I always dreaded returning to the States. Looking back, I was happiest in France.
ReplyDeleteInfidel, it's good to be reminded to shake off pessimism, since it has a tendency to become habitual. Thanks for this.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I keep asking myself, with an increasing frequency and urgency, whether our choice to come and live in the US was the right one. (My answer is -- no, my husband's -- yes.) But our kids are American, this is their home, so the idea of going back does not seem to make much sense. That, and the fact that there is no "back" there anymore. This year marks my point of immigrational symmetry -- as of 2010, I've lived as long in the US as I did in Poland. But my maladjustment to America seems to grow with each year -- and it's something I have a hard time conveying even to my own family. They are so... American. :)
Now this is directed more to Octo -- France is the place (especially if you speak the language). My late mother-in-law lived in Southern France for many years (her boyfriend still does), near St. Tropez, and that area is as close to paradise as I have ever seen.
Okay, lets look at this...
ReplyDeleteI am DISSATISFIED with the democratic party and how much they remind me of business as usual.
I put up with 8 years of Bush and voted for HOPE and CHANGE...and all I am getting now is same ol' same ol'
So, I want a new party....
That is not pessimism but rather something to fight for...
Sometimes you have to throw your hands up in the air and give up before you can work for something new.
Liberalism is dead....Long Live Liberalism!
While everyone's experience is different, I can't help noticing that talk of moving out of the United States becomes common during times of political set-backs, but not many Americans actually do it -- at least, not because they don't like living here (Americans living in other countries for business reasons is a different matter).
ReplyDeleteThere have been times when I considered (or thought I was considering) going to live in some other country that seemed likely to suit me better, but in the end I never actually did it.
How many people in 2004 said they would leave the country if Bush were re-elected? And then, how many actually did?
We're going to be staying put, almost all of us -- so shouldn't we be trying to make this the best place we can?
Elizabeth: Pessimism is undertsandable sometimes, but consider how much worse the situation has been in the past. Frederick Douglass, the suffragettes, Martin Luther King, and Harvey Milk all faced a far more discouraging national climate than we do now, yet they persevered.
BD: Donkeys, maybe. I'd like to see the Republicans try to pull the tail off a dinosaur.
I think what most of us still see in les États-Unis is potential. Even the dumbest congressional Republicans have a hard time dimming the luster of that potential, though I must say they seem to be working at it 24/7. Which probably means I'm a stupid dinosaur, but as Infidel suggests, just go ahead and TRY to pull my tail. How's that hopey-changey-pull-the-dino's-tail thing workin' out for ya? Grrrrrrrr.....
ReplyDeleteI too have thought of just leaving the country. I could probably get dual citizenship within my parents' country and I could feel at home there as here. It would not take me long to slip into the language and culture I have known since childhood.
ReplyDeleteBut I have many ties to this country. My children and grandchildren are here as are my parents and siblings. My business is here, my life is here.
And I think Dino is right, this country still has potential. Even when the loonies are braying out their wingnuttery, there are rays of hope all around - the kid who brings sandwiches and blankets to the homeless every night, the people running soup kitchens and homeless shelters, young people speaking out...
There are moments in history that seem like the darkest of times but there are generations depending on us to stay and fight and I believe they are worth fighting for.
Besides - NOBODY RUNS ROCKY OUT OF HER OWN COUNTRY; NOBODY!
It is ironic to note how many friends I suddenly acquired AFTER moving to Paris ... and how often I played host, tour guide, and translator. At least I didn't have to listen to OJ reports every night.
ReplyDeletePlease note: If you visit Musee D' Orsay and see the giant clock enough times, eventually you become Harold Lloyd reincarnate.
Nah - I hate heights, but the view from the roof is pretty good.
ReplyDeleteIn a city full of museums, that one is a favorite.