Sunday, September 19, 2010

Where's the rum gone?

Avast, ye dogs! Listen up or it's the lash fer ye!

While a warship from those dogs what broke away from the accursed British East Inja Company dishonorably prevented a poor pirate ship from defendin' hisself against attacks, we don' hardly care fer that, now, do we? The Bay of Aden is halfway around the world, an' almost where the map tells us there be dragons. So enough of those scurvy wretches, then. We has more important things ta speak of.

There be rum wars afoot!

Aye, it seems that Puerto Rico is screaming like a midshipman getting his barnacles crushed because the Virgin Islands has stolen their rum. O' course, instead o' weighing anchor and hoisting the Jolly Roger, they be whinging about it like a cabin boy told it's his turn in the dress, saying that the Virgin Islands did some nefarious deal, when really, they just made Captain Morgan a better offer.

O'course, ye can trust me on this much; since Captain Morgan is going there, we'll just be calling them "the Islands" from now on.

7 comments:

  1. Well shiver me timbers...Ya think they could settle this with either a drink or a walk of the plank.
    Maybe some stank of the weed too matey.

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  2. What they need is Captain Jack Aubrey of the British Navy patrolling those waters in the HMS Surprise!

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  3. Aubrey? Would've been meat at the hands of Peter Blood. m'lady. Or even young Master Threepwood.

    These modern "pirates" are no match fer the noble rapscallions of the ol' days.

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  4. Argg ye infidels! Ya best be tithin yer pieces of eight to the Ayatoller for ye's keel alled and dumped inta Davey Jones' locker!

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  5. So .. now they're outsourcing rum production? Welcome to America.

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  6. The Puerto Rican pirates, it appears, are ship out of luck.

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  7. "Argg ye infidels!"

    Hmmm - have we met somewhere?

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