In Florida, the mayor of Cape Coral thought that posting the Ten Commandments in City Hall was a spiffy idea, but the City Council didn't agree.
This comes up at least a couple of times a year, as some thoughtless theocrat tries to commit religious bukkake and squirt his personal theology in the faces of everybody around them.
Let's start, of course, with the fact that this act is automatically exclusionary. Even past the objections of the irreligious (you know, the people who might not want their tax money spent on somebody else's silly damned belief system), what about the folks who actually believe in this stuff? Whose version of the Decalogue are you going to post up there?
The Ten Commandments are normally pulled from Exodus 20:2–17 (which is mirrored in Deuteronomy 5:6–21). And despite the customary image of the two stones, in neither book is there a neat, tidy set of ten bullet statements, so different religions split things up differently.The best example, of course, is the first three Commandments, which are widely variable. Reading from Exodus, we take the following verses:
I am the LORD thy God... Thou shalt have no other gods before me... Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image... (nor) bow down thyself to them, nor serve them(As always, we'll be sticking with King James version. Because, you know, "breathed out by God" and all... but mostly because I like the poetry of the language.)
Now, if you happen to be Jewish, "I am the Lord thy God," all by itself, is the First Commandment. Most Protestants, on the other hand, essentially treat that as a preface to the actual list, while the Orthodox sects fold it into the "no other gods" part; Catholics and Lutherans, meanwhile, slam the whole thing together into one big lumpy First Commandment.
This means, of course, that the Third Commandment is "Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain." Unless you're Catholic (or again, Lutheran), who believe that's the Second Commandment.
And this one-off numbering continues on down the list until you get to those pesky "covets," which most of the God-swallowers lump together.
Except, of course, the followers of the Pope or Martin Luther, who split off the first "covet" and have their own personal Ninth Commandment. Where everybody else just pretty much says "don't covet anything," the Catholics and Lutherans figure that not coveting another man's wife needs its own place in the list, separate from more mundane covetousness, such as the ass.
As for coveting the wife's ass, they don't like to talk about that. (Ba-dum ching! Thank you! I'll be here all week!)
So, in posting the Ten Commandments, which religion do you honor over the rest? The Jewish, Catholic, or Protestant? (We'll ignore the Lutherans this time; they're just following in their trouble-making founder's footsteps.)
But just for fun, let's consider the Ten Commandments (all three versions) themselves.
I am the LORD thy God... Thou shalt have none other gods before me... for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God...
Do you notice that God doesn’t say that there ARE no other gods? Just that you shouldn’t worship them, because He doesn’t appreciate the competition. I’ve always thought that was interesting.
But then we get to Deuteronomy 5:8-9: Thou shalt not make thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the waters beneath the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them...
Kind of puts art out of reach of the common man, doesn’t it? It’s only later translations of that verse that change "graven images" to "idols" – the original Hebrew doesn’t have any "sacred" subtext attached to the word for graven image (pecel). Since the two statements are seperable (“Make no graven images” and “bow down and worship them”), it makes one wonder what God thought of Michelangelo.
In fact, this same prohibition, sans the "bowing down" bit, is echoed earlier in the same book (Deu 4:23-25).
Further along, we come to this: Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee. Six days thou shalt labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may rest as well as thou. (Deu 5:12-14)
A strict reading of that would indicate that taking Saturday off is in opposition to the Word of God. He's telling you to work for six days, not just five.
Which also brings us to the fact that the Sabbath is supposed to be on the last day of the week, not the first – but that goes back to the antisemitism of the Council of Laodicea: Christians must not judaize by resting on the Sabbath, but must work on that day, rather honouring the Lord’s Day; and, if they can, resting then as Christians. But if any shall be found to be judaizers, let them be anathema from Christ.
Makes you wonder about the people who claim that "the Ten Commandments are the source of the American legal system!" Yeah, not so much.
Basically, even if you include perjury (which doesn't always qualify), there are only three Commandments that count as laws (the other two being murder and theft). Three out of ten; 30% isn't a passing grade on any test I've ever taken.
Taking God's name in vain? Sorry, freedom of speech.
Adultery? Hardly a crime; practically a way of life in some places.
Honoring fathers and mothers? Well, we try, but they keep trying to tear down Social Security.
And you really can't ban coveting. Wanting something better is the driving force of capitalism, after all.
So how important are these ten little rules again?
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Update (10/19/10): It has been pointed out that the choice of which day should be the Sabbath was covered in tbe New Testament.
Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days... (Col 2:16, ignoring that whole "jot and tittle" argument)
A statement that was, of course, ignored until the 4th Century, when the Council of Laodicea got all post-Jewry on their asses. But there it is.
Good job!!
ReplyDeleteActually in Hebrew it says I am YHWH your elohim who brought you out of Egypt and house of slavery: anochi Yahweh eloheicha, etc. That's a trip not taken by the ancestors of most Texans particularly the slave holders who founded the state - and our country come to think of it.
It's hard to think the Y guy was talking to them. Nor is there any distinction or prioritization I can see in biblical commandments -- all 613 of them are equally important and in large part absurd.
"No shall have you gods other before me." No flowery 17th century language here. Lo viyeh lecha elohim acherim al panana.
Not it doesn't say "we" as Yah would have if he were like ancient Gaul and the Christian deity divided in three parts from the beginning of time. No sons, no descending doves. It says no other Elohim, which word seems also to mean angels or heavenly beings at other places, so it's confusing, because we're told there are many angels, but it's hardly supportive of the Christian argument either.
It doesn't support or allow Christianity or a god who needs preconditions to "save" anybody and early on, Christianity "freed" us from them, didn't Paul say that?
Much of it is petty, inexplicable and confusing and none of it seems very moral any more. It doesn't support freedom of anything: speech, thought and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness seems to be very much at odds with a God who will slaughter you for bringing incense too close to the ark, getting a shave,looking over your shoulder, taking a picture of anything "in the waters under the earth" (Yes, God believes in a flat earth, with heaven above floating on a universal sea) sewing your silk pajamas with cotton thread or eating a cheeseburger or refusing to impregnate your brother's widow. Don't you dare ask for bacon either, but sell your daughter into prostitution? Hey, no problem!
So when these Bozos propose to post the Proclamation of Telepinu the Hittite, or the Code of Hammurabi (an eye for an eye) or all the laws of Egypt, I'll believe their argument that it's just history. If the basis of our constitution were really the Christian Bible, we would be advised to ignore them anyway.
Here's a commandment that somehow got dropped. I think it was the 11th--I'm not kidding :P
ReplyDeleteThou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.
Good thing I'm not religious, otherwise I'd have to give up eating cream of goat soup.
No need to give up your cream of goat - unless you're lactose intolerant, you can make it in cow's milk.
ReplyDeleteOr, come to think of it, any other goat's milk would be fine, too.
"Love thy neighbor as thyself."
ReplyDeleteNo matter how/what/who/when you believe, if you follow that, if EVERYONE follows that, we would all be golden.
Not holding my breath though.
It is fitting that the Cynic with no name should post on He who has no name. Until he told Moses to call him "I am who am." Or Yaweh or Jehovah.
ReplyDeleteI praise you and have erected a goddamn statue to you in my den Nameless One.
I never did understand this Ten Commandments fuss. Of course, if you are a strict fundamentalist or a tenther, it is permissible to covet any wife who is not your neighbor (note: I prefer a mimic octopus over a blue one - hint, hint). And if you are a strict fundamentalist or a tenther, you may take the Lord’s name in vain in most American places as long as these are not heaven above or earth beneath or the waters beneath the earth (and Cape Coral FL certainly does not qualify).
ReplyDeleteI have been otherwise occupied with pesky things like working to survive but I had to take a break and come to the beach. My! Ya'll are busy little buggers!
ReplyDeleteThis is a most excellent post - I love posts that calmly, methodically and rationally explain a position and you nailed this Nameless Cynic.
BTW, NC, I neglected to tell you that this is one of the funniest lines I've read here:
ReplyDelete"...some thoughtless theocrat tries to commit religious bukkake and squirt his personal theology in the faces of everybody around them."
--and that's saying a lot because it means you've made me laugh as hard at that image as I do when our estimable Capt. Fogg expresses his extreme irritations.
Now I can look forward to both of you giving me much needed relief from these moronic shenanigans produced by the righties.
I call myself a renegade Catholic. What does that mean? Basically that it means that I profess to be a Catholic but I practice it my way which basically means that I mostly follow its teachings theologically but refuse to shove it down anyone else's throat.
ReplyDeleteI am a First Amendment true believer and think these tablets need to go. I'm tired of the Reckless Right's crapola.
Well done, NC. The Ten Commandments battle arises in my state of North Carolina periodically. Usually it's in the context of posting them in schools or courthouses. So far, none of the efforts have been successful.
ReplyDeleteI remain convinced that the people who view the Bible as the literal word of God haven't actually read it. If it is the word of God, then God clearly suffers from dissociative identity disorder, given the multiple and contradictory accounts of the same events that permeate the book.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I appreciate your kind words.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, though, Shaw, your cream of goat isn't kosher at all. Milk and meat in one meal? What was I thinking?
Well, thank Shiva I don't keep kosher. Nishtu gedacht! That could have been shreklecheh zach.
It's interesting to note that despite the later commandments of the changeless and eternal, when he sat down with Avram and Sarai for lunch before blowing the crap out of Gomorrah, he ate curds and lamb which of course is as unkosher as one can get.
ReplyDeleteAccording to that episode, he looked just like anyone else to the point where you'd hardly notice him and was so unintimidating in appearance that Abe's wife laughed at him. So unintimidating that Abe could argue with him about the indecency of killing innocents.
The 10 Commandments are perhaps one of the strongest arguments against the existence of a biblical, or other, god. Any child could improve on the 10 Commandments; for example, "thou shalt not place other humans in slavery", or "thou shalt not have sex with children".
ReplyDeleteThe point being; the 10 Commandments are the best work of a perfect and supreme deity? Pfft, what a joke.