But there are high points, special events worthy of special status, although which ones to celebrate differ from political faith to faith. I don't know how Florida's "smaller government" believers took the statement by one state representative against a bit of legislation forbidding anyone to participate in or watch for purposes of pleasure any sexual act including animals with the exception of the requirements of animal husbandry, but she seemed to understand that as allowing female humans to marry animals and she certainly opposed that, thank you very much. It's hard to stand out as an idiot in a Florida crowd, but perhaps the following resolution, which was introduced last Christmas Eve by Sen. Gary Siplin, an Orlando Democrat, that would designate "Merry Christmas" as the official state greeting for December 25 will come close:
WHEREAS, Christmas, a holiday of great significance to most Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world, andCan anyone make up stuff like this? I can't, and I wouldn't dare clog up the wheels of progress, if I'm still allowed to advocate it, with such Christmas fruitcake legislation while Florida is at the top of the unemployment and foreclosure heap. And yes, Siplin is a Democrat and no, there's no false equivalence here. I report, you decide and let the batshit fall where it may.
WHEREAS, on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, and
WHEREAS, popular modern customs of the holiday include gift-giving, music, the exchange of greeting cards, a special meal, church celebrations, and the display of Christmas trees, lights, and nativity scenes, and
WHEREAS, many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world celebrate Christmas as a time to cherish and serve others, NOW, THEREFORE,
Be It Resolved by the Senate of the State of Florida:
That “Merry Christmas” is recognized as the State of Florida’s official greeting for December 25.
If it passes or does not, it's a gift to cynics that keeps on giving and it seems that every time the legislature meets it is indeed Christmas. Just don't ever call it a holiday.
I am confusssssssssssed. Just who exactly is required to use this phrase? And what if the requirees(sic) do not, but rather use a phrase such as..."stick a dick your ear"...is there a fine, or jail time, or at the very least, a penalty box?
ReplyDeleteA scant half-decade ago someone had the lame idea to have the words "In God We Trust" on our currency. It passed and it stuck.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas.
If only things like this were the extent of their idiocy. Compared to deciding that health care for all comes straight from Satan or Adolf Hitler or Stalin, or that it's okay to let climate change destroy life on the planet because Jesus is coming back soon anyway, this is pretty benign.
ReplyDeleteThis is as useless (yet politically motivated) as any other wedge issue for righties... I'm sure Bill O'Reilly and his War on Christmas campaign helped spur this idiot on. I'm just wondering exactly who this affects, and why it's necessary or even wanted. Will it be the only official greeting allowed in the state on Christmas Day? If one greets someone with "Yo, Pete!" does that constitute a criminal act?
ReplyDeleteCareful Florida, we like to think we have most of the knuckle-draggin' mouth-breathers up here in Tennessee's legislature. Don't go stealing our thunder.
And Merry Christmas to you, too!
Schedule of penalties:
ReplyDeleteHappy Holidays - Misdemeanor ($25 fine)
Have a wonderful Xmas - Misdemeanor ($50 fine)
Feliz Navidad - Mandatory immigration check
Happy Hanukkah - State sanctioned pogrom
Where's my unemployment check - Mandatory drug test and a piss in the bottle
Did I miss any?
Oops for got one more ...
ReplyDeleteHave a drop dead Christmas - Felony Assault ($500 fine and 6 months in the slammer)
Good...I'm sticking with stick a dick in your ear, as it doesn't seem to be covered.
ReplyDeleteI don't live in Florida so what do I know -- some of Tennessee's Democrats are as wackadoodle as our Republicans -- but I read this and detected a noted of sarcasm. Maybe I'm giving the Rep. more credit than he'd due but I expected another WHEREAS reading,
ReplyDelete"WHEREAS, our state's Republicans insist on flogging this dead horse of a "War on Christmas" in the media and frightening voters with bogus, silly and time wasting controversies, and
"WHEREAS finally designating Merry Christmas our official state greeting on Dec. 25 might shut some of these idiots up,
"BE IT RESOVED ..." yada yada.
.. adding, since a Democrat has suggested this resolution I fully expect Florida Republicans to start ringing alarm bells that "Democrats want to OUTLAW the phrase "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!" ZOMG ZOMG! BIG GOVERNMENT ALERT!"
ReplyDelete:-)
I agree with SoBe on this. I think this is 1) a ploy to shut up Republicans who act like they are the only ones interested in "Christian values." (Whatever THAT'S supposed to mean). And it's a great strategy; the Repugs either have to stay silent and lose the spotlight or try to argue this and look like total idiots.
ReplyDelete2) If such a thing ever passed it would no doubt be challenged in court and so the Dems can wash their hands of the debate.
Brilliant strategy really...
I'm afraid you give the man too much credit. The remaining Democrats in Florida are turning their coats and changing their colors faster than any chameleon you'll find here. I don't see any other motive than cowardice and venality.
ReplyDeleteNo, the resolution wouldn't have any teeth and I don't think it will be any more successful than the perennial attempt to ban Catcher in the Rye. It just failed again last week - at least in this school district.
ReplyDeleteOur congressmen and county commissioners and city councilmen are chosen by parties, not by citizens and they're elected for party affiliation alone, so any fear of embarrassment isn't likely or warranted. They only need to be Republican and being Republican requires only a few Quixotic acts to establish them as "victims, just like us."