Remember when Darth Cheney told us in solemn tones that "Obama will be tested" and that there would be an onslaught of terrorist attacks should we be so foolish as to elect him; that candy-ass, ultra-liberal crypto-pacifist, watermelon stealing coward? Well Republicans may not remember, but we all know the result - more terrorists killed than ever and that includes Osama bin Laden. I think he's passed the test.
No, he didn't take our guns, he didn't make capitalism or Christianity illegal, he didn't appoint Jesse Jackson as Secretary of State and he didn't give us a huge middle class tax increase or a confiscatory corporate tax rate. He didn't institute Sharia law. In fact he's usually done the opposite of what the Chicken Littles have been squawking about for 4 years now.
So a return to objective reality not being possible when your entire platform and your strongest base are pickled in delusion and ignorance, what option does he have but to go nuclear? That's right, if we re-elect the president, the world will be blown up in a nuclear holocaust says Mr. Bluster of the plastic face.
" If I’m president, that will not happen. If we re-elect Barack Obama it will.”I couldn't make this shit up, but then, I couldn't make this Mitt up. I couldn't vote for him either.
“Ahmadinejad having fissile material that he can give to Hezbollah, Hamas, and that they can bring into Latin America, and that they can potentially bring across the border into the United States to let off dirty bombs here — or more sophisticated bombs here.”
Sure Mitt, Just like Saddam Hussein's nuclear weapons were potentially going to be smuggled into Peoria in a briefcase even though he had none, nor the means to make them, and we had to blow a few trillion and kill nearly a million to wipe him out -- and why is Obama going to get us into a nuclear war? Why, says make it up as you go along Mitt, because he hasn't been threatening to blow Iran off the surface of the planet for even thinking about it and possibly because according to the Secretary of Defense, Iran hasn't been doing much more than thinking and blustering about building one.
"Potentially." It's such a great word to weave a plot around. Potentially I'm an NBA linebacker who writes music like Mozart and travels the world in his magic submarine fighting for justice. Is Romney potentially a President? Oh please.
Good stuff!!!! Potentially, I'm a gangsta ninja feminist with the sights of her AK-47 pointed on the Virginia Legislature except that I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if I was standing smack dab in front of it!!!
ReplyDeleteNBA linebacker? Good post, although I won't vote Obama for much difference reasons that the Mitt is squawking about.
ReplyDeleteEverybody remembers Donovan's Mellow Yellow, right?
ReplyDeleteI'm a Massachusetts liberal;
Liberal republican I!
I'm a hard-core conservative;
got to live free or die!
They call me Butt Chimney!
(Smoke comes out my ass)
If I'm elected you'll get a good job;
If he is re-elected you won't!
Economies have to recover;
But if you elect Obama they don't!
They call me Butt Chimney!
(Smoke comes out my ass)
They call me Butt Chimney!
I will never apologize for America!
They call me Butt Chimney!
If elected I will repeal Obamacare!
They call me Butt Chimney!
Romneycare is a good thing!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I saw my father march with Martin Luther King!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I've been a hunter pretty much all my life;
They call me Butt Chimney!
I'm happy to learn that after I speak you're going to hear from Ann Coulter!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I like being able to fire people who provide services to me!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I'll tell you what, ten-thousand bucks? $10,000 bet?
They call me Butt Chimney!
I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed!
They call me Butt Chimney!
I'm not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there;
They call me Butt Chimney!
PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air!
They call me Butt Chimney!
There were a couple of times I wondered whether I was going to get a pink slip;
They call me Butt Chimney!
So this morning I had a little bowl of Corn Flakes;
They call me Butt Chimney!
I put a little honey on 'em. Think I got a little sugar buzz going!
They call me Butt Chimney!
You know, I LOVE cars!
They call me Butt Chimney!
There was a time, forty or fifty years ago..
They call me Butt Chimney!
(Smoke comes out my ass!)
repeat/fade
LOL Excellent!
DeleteCapt. Fogg,
ReplyDeleteSo we're sure to get nuked if it's Obama in 2012. And all because of Iran. Hmmmm.... Do these people realize how pathetic they sound? We have something like 2,300 active and 2,600 inactive nuclear missiles in our arsenal even today, and we are supposed to lash out in desperate fear over the possibility that Iran might build a couple of them? Or that they might be stupid enough to think they could get away with letting the material be smuggled without its being traced back to them? I'll agree with anyone that it's worrisome to see such a bad actor get the bomb, but at the same time, I don't see that it's really our right to tell them what sort of weaponry they can or can't have. We certainly have no business starting wars over what sort of weaponry others have or might acquire.
I still think Romney's the eventual nominee since the other candidates only appear capable of winning in states where the GOP base is extremely right-wing, which leaves them with the occasional embarrassing victory, nothing more. As I see it, Romney is a weak general election candidate because he'll not only be running against the president but also against himself -- he's clearly not the sort of Republican he is making himself out to be, and his pitch isn't convincing, especially to the people it most needs to convince. The base will hold their nose and turn out, but I can't see droves of independent voters choosing Mitt Romney. His stance on the auto bailout alone probably dooms his chances: the election will almost certainly center on the economy, and here's an econ issue on which Romney is unequivocally, gloriously wrong. The results are in, and they don't favor his assessment of the situation. No amount of funding can erase that impression.
Well Capt, I find it hard if not impossible to poke holes in your reasoning. I am one who will not hold his nose and vote Mittens or Obama for that matter. I shall vote Libertarian.
DeleteDino,
ReplyDeleteThe Mutually Assured Destruction strategy is easy to joke about, but I think it's worked to keep wars "conventional" for the last 65 years or so. I think it may be a lot easier for "rogue" nations to use religion and the promise of heaven to make suicide attacks than it would be for Iran, for instance, to accept instant and total annihilation of all life in it's territory just for the satisfaction of destroying Israel and many of Israel's immediate neighbors. I surely don't want them to have nukes, but nukes aren't really an offensive weapon for a small country particularly now that they can't hope to be under the Russian nuclear umbrella. Russia is not going to die in retaliation for a strike on Tehran -- and there's much more than a good chance that Israel would kill every man, woman, child and goat in Iran if Tel Aviv were to be nuked.
As to smuggling in a "dirty bomb" or even more laughably, a miniature briefcase Nuke, the former could be made by almost anyone since you don't need plutonium or refined U-235 and the latter requires technological capacity that I'm not sure even the US has. I write that off to the same scare tactics that gave us the Iraq war and the destruction of our economy -- and a serious wound to our liberty. Scare tactics and a major smokescreen and distraction from the glaring, screaming, howling fact that supply side economics -- Republican economics is the fraud of the century. Bush's unprecedented tax cuts did not pay for his wars and the proposition that they would do so has been the cornerstone of "conservative" economic ideology for decades. "Debt doesn't matter if tax cuts for capitalists will grow us out of it." That's all ye need to know about post Reagan economics. It does not work.
If it is more apparent in October that a depression has been averted, even if it took over 4 years, they will have to keep screaming about adultery, birth control and blasphemy -- and the supra-constitutional rights of believers which will do them in, I think
(and I hope)
RN,
I have a strong libertarian streak, but although I strongly agree with some Libertarian aims, Dr. Paul is the only possible candidate and he's far to extreme on far too many issues for a 21st century leader. I can't vote for him but I do welcome his presence in debates because he tends to keep attention on the questions at hand rather than follow the others out into the wilderness of medieval religiosity. I'm sort of glad he's out there, but sadly -- on some issues he's really out there.
Well, "the most dangerous president in modern history” just got North Korea to stop its uranium enrichment programs and stop all nuclear testing. So suck on that, Newt.
ReplyDeleteThe bloviating! The hyperbole! The fearmongering! I can't think that this helps them with anyone but the same 27% who are already won over to their cause.
Most dangerous -- and don't forget the most liberal president who's also in bed with Wall Street and is a Muslim follower of a radical Christian sect. No, the American public is so transcendentally stupid that facts mean nothing and they lap up whatever outrageous lies and fallacies are put in their dog bowl.
ReplyDeleteDoes the country really deserve to survive?