Dammit! They are doing it again. Those landlubber, blubbering Byzantines are waging their annual war against “Seasons Greetings!” Hark the herald cephalopod hath exacted sweet revenge upon them. And torn them asunder with hellfire, fish guts, and Octopus Ink! Here’s how I did it:
Att: Mr. Bob Fishhead, Property Manager
Dear Mr. Fishhead,
Please find a photograph attached to this email illustrative of what I believe to be inappropriate signage in violation of community bylaws, provision 13.41 (page 24 of 146). What I find offensive about this signage is NOT the religious content, but an implied message that says:
The owner of this sign is above the bylaws of the community.
Please note what this sign is not: It is not a Christmas decoration that says: "Peace on Earth" or "Merry Christmas." I have no objections to a holiday greeting, Christmas lights, or tacky figurines within the boundaries of their own property. However, I do object to a partisan message masquerading as a holiday greeting - in an accusatory tone that members of this community, such as myself, find offensive. This is a polemic - not a message in keeping with the spirit of season. I want it removed.
Postscript: Within hours after I sent the above missive, a somber
Scomber scombrus (aka Holy Mackerel) removed the offending sign. Score one for the Sea Team!
Fishhead? for real? But I find the gross offense to God of a graven image in the garden to be intolerable as well. It's obvious your community needs idol control.
ReplyDeleteNeither fish nor fowl, Whitehead for real. And the name of the company is Elliott Merrill Community Management - for real.
ReplyDeleteSlightly to the left and below the craven sign, notice the white flag of defeat.
Well done!
ReplyDeleteAnd Seasonings Gratings to us all.
I want to stress my strong support for freedom of speech and religion by the way. That freedom does allow this guy to tell me that I should support a religion I don't believe in but although in Florida Gated communities, that gate keeps the freedom out quite nicely, I might respond with the peremptory demand that he keep the pong in Pongal and the tube in Tubeschvat.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Somber Reflections.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah -- that too!
ReplyDeleteAnd keep an "ear" out for "Happy New Year."
ReplyDelete