Pyramids on Pluto

The New Horizons space craft has about two weeks to go before it screams past Pluto. All right it can't scream because as we all know: in Space no one can hear you do that, but it will take the closest pictures we're ever going to get in our lifetimes.

Current pictures are still rather blurry, with some hints of at least one bright polar cap and a dark spot of some sort, but here's my prediction: within hours, or perhaps within minutes of the first pictures of the encounter being put on the internet, some proof of an alien presence, a humanoid face, a pyramid, Golden Arches or a Twistee Treat will be seen by NASA and immediately covered up and suppressed by "the government" only to be uncovered by an intrepid seeker of truth and put on the internet. Hell, it may already be there, intrepid truth seekers being as quick as they are to get at the real stories behind the stories.

It's a very safe bet, since Mars, as were so often told, is literally littered with such things and NASA and the European Space Agency have a vested interest in keeping us in the dark. So good are they in covering up things they have spent billions to find -- thus making sure their funding will not ever increase -- so good are they that thousands of people can be involved over a period of half a century with no leaks and no confessions nor any whistles blown. Scientists after all, are noted for never telling anyone of discoveries lest they get credit and win Nobel Prizes and have women buy them drinks in bars.


Giovanni Schiaparelli's "canals?" What makes you think they're not there, built by the same aliens of 2 billion years ago who came back in a time machine and taught Dwight Eisenhower to create the National Highway system in the 1950's before disappearing in their flying saucers? Without a doubt, our Mars rovers carry brooms and have since swept them away.  After all since we don't know what they are, they must be a product of alien life -- come on, that's just basic logic.

One has to ask how we know NASA or the ESA or the Chinese or Indian versions of the same aren't actually the aliens themselves spending our billions to erase their footsteps?  Don't bother to look into it, by the time you boot up your computer those green eyed lizards will have a hundred blogs, tweets and web sites with cover stories.  It's important that no one knows they're here or about their deep connections with Obama, the Pope and the metal robots they call the Aluminati who are planning to start the gun-grabbing invasion of Texas and the mass arrests of  Patriotic Republicans everywhere.

The total absence of evidence proves it true because only aliens could be so good at fooling us and remember, you saw it here.