If you don't get the joke, you might be a Republican

By Capt. Fogg

Well no wonder they don't think The Daily Show is funny and don't notice when Colbert rips them to pieces.

Some scientific folks at UC San Francisco have completed a study indicating that people in the early stages of dementia have lost the snark detection system most of us were born with and can't tell when you're lying or being facetious. It explains a lot of things, actually, from why people send their life savings to Nigeria to why they can support a candidate who changes his entire philosophy from hour to hour to negate whatever his opponent says.

"Divergent Neuroanatomic Correlates of Sarcasm and Lie Comprehension in Neurodegenerative Disease," a paper presented Thursday at the 63rd Annual Meeting of the American Academy of Neurology in Hawaii, suggests that dementia can be detected earlier by noting this telltale disability. Fans of Blade Runner will smile and those of us baffled by the thought processes of Sarah Palin disciples will say "AHAH!" Perhaps we can now begin to understand why there are no really funny conservative comedians and how John McCain can flip and flop faster than a Cray supercomputer without fostering the slightest cynicism from the right.

After all, what has been eroded by disease in some people may simply not exist in others.

The Great Impastor

meg·a·lo·ma·ni·a- n.

1. A psychopathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence.
2. An obsession with grandiose or extravagant things or actions.

Glenn Beck wants to be your Megalomaniac in Chief. Within a matter of days, he's declaimed from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, declared his ministry as spiritual guide to the disenfranchised, appropriated God and Martin Luther King, and launched his own news website, The Blaze. Oh, and channeled Moses, but that's such an old schtick (oops, I pun).

It's tempting to use my brand new laptop and my brand new blogging year (Second Blogoversary countdown: 359 shopping days left!) to write my fanny off on this subject, but the research all by itself has been so much fun that I'd hate to put too many words in the way. So tag along as I follow the Yellow Brick Road to visit The Great Oz.

Orson Scott Card, Mormon author referenced by NYTimes:  “Mormonism is not just another form of Christianity — it is incompatible with ‘traditional Christian orthodoxy.’” Amen! Absolutely correct! We send out missionaries to every country that will allow them to enter precisely because we believe that the gospel of Jesus Christ is incompatible with “traditional Christian orthodoxy.”

Russell Moore, Dean of The School of Theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary:

A Mormon television star stands in front of the Lincoln Memorial and calls American Christians to revival. He assembles some evangelical celebrities to give testimonies, and then preaches a God and country revivalism that leaves the evangelicals cheering that they've heard the gospel, right there in the nation's capital.

American news media pronounces him the new leader of America's Christian conservative movement, and a flock of America's Christian conservatives have no problem with that.

If you'd told me that ten years ago, I would have assumed it was from the pages of an evangelical apocalyptic novel about the end-times. But it's not. It's from this week's headlines. And it is a scandal.

Michelle Boorstein, The Washington Post (8/31/2010):

Longtime Beck-watchers said he has always made references to his faith journey, his conversion from Catholicism to Mormonism, his crediting God with saving him from drug and alcohol abuse, professional obscurity and "friendlessness." But in the runup to Saturday's rally, Beck talked publicly and privately about God working through him, calling a pre-rally event Friday "Divine Destiny" and lining up evangelical pastor John Hagee and other religious leaders to appear with him."I'm a little nervous about that kind of talk," said Janet Mefferd, a nationally syndicated Christian talk show host who said most callers Monday wanted to talk about Beck. "I know he means well and loves this country, but he doesn't know enough about theology to know what kind of effect he's having. Christians are hearing something different than what he thinks he's saying."

 This isn't the first time Beck's faith has been scrutinized. Prominent Mormons haveoccasionally criticized him as being an entertainer, not a theologian. After an interview in 2008 with Focus on the Family, the article was pulled because some of the group's supporters thought it was wrongly validating his conversion experience. 

Glenn Beck, on Fox News Sunday: "You see, it's all about victims and victimhood; oppressors and the oppressed; reparations, not repentance; collectivism, not individual salvation. I don't know what that is, other than it's not Muslim, it's not Christian. It's a perversion of the gospel of Jesus Christ as most Christians know it."




Jillian Rayfield, Talking Points Memo, quoting Glenn Beck in the same interview shown above:

Host Chris Wallace also told Beck that "in the 40 years that I've been in this business, I have to say I've never seen anyone quite like you. You're not a newsman. You're not a preacher. You're not a politician."

"I'm a dad, I'm a concerned citizen," Beck replied.

Wallace also asked Beck about Jon Stewart, who's mocked Beck repeatedly on his show. "I think he's funny," Beck said of Stewart. "Quite honestly, I think he should write me a check."

Lacy Rose, in her Moneywood column for Forbes.com:

As I detailed in our Beck cover story this past spring, his now $35 million-a-year empire includes a variety of Web offerings as well as a popular radio program, Fox News TV series, books, podcasts, speeches, newsletters and stage shows. (To see how he makes his millions, go here.) 

Screenshot of Beck's other website, The Glenn Beck Program:

That headline reads:" Moses was high on drugs:Israeli..."

And the intriguing article noted above reads:

Moses was high on drugs: Israeli researcher

March 4, 2008 - 10:20 ET

High on Mount Sinai, Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week. 
  
 Such mind-altering substances formed an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times, Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem wrote in the Time and Mind journal of philosophy. 
  
 "As far Moses on Mount Sinai is concerned, it was either a supernatural cosmic event, which I don't believe, or a legend, which I don't believe either, or finally, and this is very probable, an event that joined Moses and the people of Israel under the effect of narcotics," Shanon told Israeli public radio on Tuesday. 

 Which naturally leads me to conclude that Glenn Beck was confused about exactly who was calling:

Mutant ninja drivers

That guy in front of you, the one who can't stay in his lane, who takes 20 seconds to respond to the light changing to green, who needs four lanes to make a turn, who slows down for green lights and sails through the red -- who amongst us hasn't made rude anatomical and ancestral references? Perhaps we should be more tolerant.

Steven Cramer, a neurology professor at the University of California Irvine, has published a study in Cerebral Cortex that indicates the presence of a gene variation in about 30% of the population that makes them not only bad drivers, but drivers that don't learn from their mistakes. I've read many studies showing that nearly all accidents are caused by a small percentage of drivers and that that group is not distinguished by high speed driving. They're just bad drivers and maybe we now have some idea why. As to whether this genetic marker occurs more frequently in some population segments? Why yes, I do have a ten foot pole, but it's on my boat and I'm not going there, thank you.

I don't want to put too much faith in one study, but I do like studies that confirm my prejudices and maybe the next time some idiot looks me in the eyes and pulls out onto the highway 5 feet in front of me or stops on the entrance ramp or cruises through the red making a right turn, I'll roll down the window and shout "You miserable, brain-derived neurotrophic factor deprived mutant!" instead of the usual.