Learning From the Younger Crowd

I've been noticing a certain acerbic tone in my young child’s manner of speaking to me lately. Ill-tempered & impatient, to be exact. Now – I could, of course, explain this away by saying – “oh well, it’s the age” or “kids will be kids” etc. Yes. Mmmm Well. Um. Except for the fact that my child’s tone, manner, demeanor is beginning to seem oddly familiar. Like I’ve heard it before. Many times. Recently. A lot. Yes - hauntingly familiar. As if I am listening to my own reflection in a mirror. Could it be that my child is taking cues from dear old mom about how to communicate?

What’s that old expression about things going around & coming around?

Today as I was approaching my classroom building for my next class I was wading through the usual crowd of my students hanging around the door smoking like chimneys & generally lollygagging. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed one of my students grin & wave at me. I aimed my patented, squid-sarcastic look in his direction. As I passed into the building I heard him say, “She hates me, I know it.” Rolling my eyes heavenward I headed to my classroom.

A few minutes later as my students strolled into class, my “she hates me” student headed for his seat. I called out – in an ever so SO sarcastic voice – “Hello so & so. I like you so & so.” He turned & grinned sheepishly & said “See – I thought so, but I’m never quite sure.” Then we both laughed heartily.

It struck me later that this incident – like my struggles with my ornery child – is yet another example of the cycle of human interactions. How one person behaves or speaks informs how another person behaves & speaks, etc etc etc . . .

Both my child & my “she hates me” student have reflected back to me my own moodiness & manner respectively. Reminding me that I can not act & react in a vacuum. That I must bear responsibility for HOW I am.

What has this got to do with anything at issue on this blog?

It seems to me from recent posts on this blog - reporting about happenings on the campaign trails - that there is a lot of meanness & ill will being circulated around this land of ours. The debating of political issues has become thoroughly dumbed down into overly & overtly personalized & poisonous rhetoric. I too am guilty of this. I have been mightily & heartily sarcastic – not just critical – but sarcastic – about Sarah Palin. And it is my sarcasm that I am increasingly bothered by. Towards SP I am not playfully sarcastic as I am with my students. No. I have been aggressively sarcastic towards her & her running mate. And this sarcasm does NOT make me feel any better. It is not healthy blowing off of steam. No. It’s not. Call me a whimp – but it is really bothering me. I have allowed SP's own idiotic rhetoric to suck me into more of my own idiotic - yes, idiotic - rhetoric in retort. Where does it end?

I am not claiming that I am ready to go out & start slashing the tires of cars bearing McCain/Palin stickers. However – the angry desire to slash someone’s tires starts somewhere, doesn't it? People are not born inherently disposed to have evil tendencies towards tires. So how did we go from name calling to vandalism? What will be the next leap into the depths? As a collective electorate – what are we now demonstrating about ourselves? And I do mean COLLECTIVE. Are any of us really above the fray at this point?

Perhaps the phrase “what goes around comes around” needs to be modified to “be mindful of what you send around because it may come back around upon you in an even more disturbing form.”

Or maybe I am just an idyllic, idealistic, delicate flower in need of watering. I don't know.

BUT I do know - that if I want my child to learn how to speak in a more reasonable, polite voice it would be nice if I modeled such behavior for him. Might there not be a lesson in this? As for my "she hates me" student - a reminder to me that sometimes by simply owning our behavior we can get a smile & be understood.