People who seek to denounce or prohibit some particular form of sexual behavior often like to brand it as "unnatural", logically meaning that it does not exist in nature -- that is, among non-human animals -- and therefore cannot be normal for humans either. Oddly, the people who do this often tend to be those who reject evolution and thus do not believe that we are related to the other animals, but let that pass.
In most cases, in fact, they're wrong. Animal sexual behavior is very varied, and unsurprisingly, it's our fellow mammals who tend to be the most imaginative. Masturbation, promiscuity (in both genders), oral sex, foreplay, incest, rape, homosexuality (in both genders), erotic dances to whip up a partner's interest, sexual play among adolescents, and even lifelong commitment to a single partner -- all these things have been observed among other mammal species and are common enough in at least some to qualify as normal behavior for them. (Notice too that a couple of these examples remind us that blindly taking what occurs in nature as a guideline for what should or shouldn't be acceptable among humans would be rather dangerous.) Even people who think life was created by a deity should be able to see that activities in which so many species engage cannot be "unnatural" in the eyes of their alleged creator.
But there is one form of human sex-related behavior (indeed, one which the moralists consider an essential prerequisite to sex of any kind) which has no counterpart in nature. It's marriage. No naturalist studying any species on Earth has ever reported a case in which two animals who wanted to mate with each other insisted on finding a third animal to stand around reciting mumbo-jumbo at them first. Only humans do that.
Personally I've always found the concept a bit insulting. It seems to assume that the feelings two people have for each other are not enough in themselves, and need to be "legitimized" by bringing a third party -- the church or the government -- into the relationship to provide its stamp of approval.
In fact, if people feel motivated to be monogamous, they will be, with or without a piece of paper from the state. And if they don't feel motivated, the piece of paper won't help much -- as quite a few Republican politicians have recently demonstrated.
Of course, as a liberal I support the right of conservative humans to engage in their preferred form of unnatural sexual behavior. But they're on rather shaky ground calling anyone else names.
I didn't know you had to have a piece of paper first! Oh well, guess I can't undo what's already been done.
ReplyDeleteI have always maintained that there is no such thing as an unnatural sexual act--only an uncomfortable one.
ReplyDeleteWasn't marriage (in western history) a legal fiction devised so powerful men could scoop up multiple women whom they could have exclusive sexual rights to?
ReplyDeleteI don't know about that Shaw....
ReplyDeleteAt my age I am starting to believe that sex is unnatural....
If one defines cephalopod morality as one who espouses both personal and economic freedom, one might say an octopus is the most perfect exemplar. In nature, an octopus leads a solitary life. As one who lives alone and forages alone, I enjoy maximum personal freedom, and since whatever I catch is mine, and mine alone, one might say I enjoy maximum economic freedom. What need do octopi have of communities or nations? We fend for ourselves. It is the way of the reef.
ReplyDeleteThe only time we seek the company of other cephalopods is to propagate the species (accomplished with little fuss and fanfare … thank you very much), and we do this, not earlier in life, but at the very end. We do not waste time cleaning dirty diapers and polyp bottoms, raising unruly teenagers, or investing fresh catch on a college education. We have no need of divorce, alimony, or the lies and legalities ultimately swept away by death.
Among cephalopods, Eros and Thanatos conspire to make room for the next generation. Ours is a perfect lifestyle … simple, clean, and efficient … without acrimony.
"At my age I am starting to believe that sex is unnatural...."
ReplyDeleteBut you're still young enough to remember it right? Now what were we talking about? I forgot.
Oh yes, marriage. When it's good, it's good, when it's bad it's horrible, but in terms of property rights, inheritance and child custody, it makes sense. Our courts are clogged with legal cases between people who thought it was too grown-up to get married.
Well, there's always The Inevitable Oscar Wilde to reckon with: "The first task of humanity is to be as unnatural as possible. What the second is, no one has yet determined." (close paraphrase) The Oscar was coming from the direction of Frenchmen like Baudelaire, who wrote a brilliant treatise called The Painter of Modern Life in which he addresses the concept of nature in connection to human behavior -- the essay on cosmetics is particularly fine. Then there's Joris-Karl Huysman's A Rebours, which is often translated in English editions as "Against Nature."
ReplyDeleteI seem to remember reading way back, that marriages were enforced to make sure that powerful had legitimate heirs because they had so many different women bearing them children.
ReplyDeleteAmazing that the Republicans and conservatives who champion less government and less regulations, think it's ok for government to be involved in the most personal aspects of peoples lives.
ReplyDeleteMake laws about marriage and homosexuality, but let bankers and capitalists, do whatever they want.
Of course they base their sincerity on these sins being against God's laws, as if God should be the only source of our secular laws.
If God created us in his image, then God is most certainly homosexual. It's Natural law, but maybe God did not create Natural law.
GG: Wasn't marriage (in western history) a legal fiction devised so powerful men could scoop up multiple women whom they could have exclusive sexual rights to?
ReplyDeleteWell, in the West you could traditionally only marry one, but those powerful men didn't let that cramp their style. Still don't. The exclusive rights thing is getting kind of tricky, though, as women realize they can play the same games.
Öctöpüß: whatever I catch is mine, and mine alone,
Whatever or whomever?:-)
I rather like the fuss and fanfare, though. Some of it.
And.....Ah, Oscar Wilde! If only he were still among us to deliver his pithy observations on our times.
Thanks for commenting, all.
You and your comment moderation is causing me unnatural discomfort Infidel.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, perhaps you would be fun at a party. Just stay away from my wife. Sex without commitment is shallow and beneath the dignity of humans. Cephalopods are another matter. An inky mess though. But as Octo said, if it's not inky, you're not doing it right.
No naturalist studying any species on Earth has ever reported a case in which two animals who wanted to mate with each other insisted on finding a third animal to stand around reciting mumbo-jumbo at them first. Only humans do that.
ReplyDeleteTHAT is priceFUL! Because we humans even CHARGE for a license!
In fact, if people feel motivated to be monogamous, they will be,…
Or in the case of The Tiger---NOT!
I wonder how many “animals” have a “sexual-addiction”? Or would animals, if they could rationalize, be “honest” enough to admit the truth? In that they were selfish and threw their partner’s feelings out the window. Unlike humans who try to blame just about everything on an “addiction”. Like that justifies it somehow. It’s not Diabetes for Pete’s sake.
Pam: There are all kinds of addictions - eating, alcohol, drugs, etc. Infact the American Psychiatric Association has proposed that “hypersexual disorder’’ be included in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
ReplyDeleteWomen who've been referred to as nymphomaniacs are probably in fact sexually addicted and I'm sure there are animals out there who are going for it all the time. No, none of these addictions are like diabetes - one is physical and the others involve brain chemistry.
Addicted people deserve the same compassion as people with diabetes, cancer or MS.
I'm sure there's a name for all those women who eagerly do the horizontal rumba.
Tom: Make laws about marriage and homosexuality, but let bankers and capitalists, do whatever they want.
ReplyDeleteSome conservatives, to their credit, do extend their limited-government concept to non-interference in private sexual behavior. Most do not. As I see it, anyone who wants to criminalize abortion or homosexuality is not talking limited government.
Truth 101: You and your comment moderation is causing me unnatural discomfort Infidel.
Trust me, it would be worse without it. Didn't the Greek philosophers teach "moderation in all things"?
Just stay away from my wife.
I'm gonna tell her you said that:-)
Sex without commitment is shallow and beneath the dignity of humans.
Sex with dignity is something I've never tried. Sounds like a bit of a drag, though.
Cephalopods are another matter.
Sex with a cephalopod might be kind of interesting -- remember that scene from Galaxy Quest?
Pamela: Because we humans even CHARGE for a license!
That's the one circumstance where grey officialdom isn't negative about sex -- when they can make a bit of money from it.
Or in the case of The Tiger---NOT!
Exactly. He had a marriage license and it didn't stop him from yielding to temptation. Better an honest libertine than a hypocrite.
Or would animals, if they could rationalize, be “honest” enough to admit the truth?
Being the only animals with fully-developed language makes us the only animals able to lie. But I think bonobos, even if they could talk, would be more honest.
I should reiterate that I have nothing against people who choose to lead traditional or conventional lives. I only object to the people who preach against the harmless behavior of others.
I wonder how many “animals” have a “sexual-addiction”?--Pam
ReplyDeleteCome sit here by me, and let me tell you about pan paniscus--the remarkable bonobo.
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ReplyDeleteTNLib: Infact the American Psychiatric Association has proposed that “hypersexual disorder’’ be included in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
ReplyDeleteThe trouble is, if you listen to those people, we're all nuts in one sense or another. Once mental aberration is so braodly defined, the concept loses all its meaning and usefulness.
All normal humans have sexual desires; those desires are usually very strong and sometimes take idiosyncratic forms. Some people yield to their desire to indulge in sex even when doing so poses a risk of harming themselves or other people. This is poor judgment and poor impulse control. It doesn't qualify, except perhaps in very rare extreme cases, as a mental disorder.
Tiger Woods isn't an "addict". He's a high-status male primate who decided to yield to the temptations which tend to come with that position.
"Nymphomaniacs", too, may have poor judgment and poor impulse control, and possibly stronger-than-average sex drives. They might benefit from counseling. I don't believe they have an addiction or a disorder.
A calmly appearance is lovely to behold, but qualities of mind and personality are what we fall in love with and choose to explore our life possibilities.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, you people get up early!
ReplyDeleteSo after two references to the pygmy chimps aka bonobo, I had to go look them up to see what the connection was. Aha!
It is a sad thing that there are those who believe their purpose on earth to interfere with others' pursuit of happiness.
Unless it involves a child or other being unable to consent, the sexual escapades of others is none of my business and I'm happy to keep it that way.
Tiger Woods is an idiot for behaving the way he did with such a beautiful wife, but maybe she was the ice queen, who knows? Who cares? After seeing some of the scum sucking sluts he slept with, I think the wife would be very smart to hold him at arm's length until he finished some rigorous medical tests.
I would have preferred never to have seen them at all paraded across my TV screen nightly as if they were legitimate news; no wonder this country is going to hell in a handbasket!
Animals of all stripes (us included) perform all sorts of sexual acts for that "feel good" moment. I might not want to do some of them but I don't think I should tell someone else its wrong just because it's not my cup of tea...(yes, pun intended!)
I used to raise Holstein heifers (young females) and as they matured, I would occasionally catch one pretending to be the bull... never mind.
So whatever you are doing out there in the privacy of your homes or caves or trees... more power to you! Have fun!
I promise, I won't tell you what I do if you promise NOT to tell me what you do!
I recently watched a TV program about people with odd behavior resulting from brain trauma.
ReplyDeleteOne subject was a woman who after recovering from surgery to repair an aneurism became an uncontrollable sex addict.
One wonders how far to take the concept of choices and personal responsibility. I think sometimes that our ideas of "self" are cosmetic myths to cover up the unbearable lightness of being.
Captain: "One subject was a woman who after recovering from surgery to repair an aneurism became an uncontrollable sex addict."
ReplyDeleteThe pre-frontal lobe seems to be the loci of social inhibitions. Damage to this part of the brain will result over time to a diminution of social inhibitions and perhaps what we call "conscience." After damage to the pre-frontal lobe, increases in anti-social behaviors have been observed. Thus, an uninhibited increase in sexuality would not be surprising.
Leslie: Having grown up with an alcoholic step-father I’ll be the first one to admit that there are “real” addictions out there, including sexual. However, today we have people, and in my opinion Tiger is one of them, who throw the word “addiction” around to avoid the truth or to justify their actions. Anymore people are either “depressed”, “bipolar”, “manic” or “addicted” which doesn’t leave any room for “personal responsibility”. When we can “excuse” our actions with a “disorder” it makes it a lot easier than actually being accountable. But for those who are truly “sick”, for lack of a better term, I have do have compassion.
ReplyDeleteRocky: I could care less what any consenting adults do either—have at it and have fun! However, Tiger is married, and in my opinion, whether his wife is an “ice queen” or a “witch”, that didn’t give him the right to do “it” with everything that walked and humiliate his wife. He should’ve obtained a divorce then he would’ve been "free" to “have at it”!
As far as your “Holstein heifers” acting like “bulls”; I’ve seen my “female” dogs acting like “males”. Aren’t they trying to prove dominance? Like an “Alpha”?
Pamela, I agree Tiger is a lowlife but it's still none of my business. His wife on the other hand has her hands full. Although the payoff should help soften the blow.
ReplyDeleteThe American obessession with our "celebrities" and the minutae of their lives is becoming an addiction!
Seriously, do you want to hear from every dumb slut about her dalliance with Tiger? Not me, I think most celebrity atheletes make far too much money and garner way too much attention, no?
As for those cows, I didn't spend much time considering their motives, with four boys I was too busy redirecting them so they wouldn't see and start asking endless questions! :)