Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Heckuva Twist, Brownie

By Captain Fogg

When you want to get the best advice on how to treat a disaster, who're you gonna call? Well certainly not the "enviros" who might know something about nature and how it works. Certainly you don't ask advice from people who have been telling you it was going to happen any day now after the day actually arrived. That would be to close to admitting you were wrong. No, you want to hear from someone whose personal record of handling catastrophic situations has become a metaphor for bungling and incompetence: you ask Brownie.

Of course the hottest new dance, the Tea Party Twist, has the baggers in knots trying to blame Obama for the latest Gulf oil disaster, the kind of disaster we've all been warned about and have been laughed at for worrying about. We dare not mention George and Dick who actually were partying it up while New Orleans drowned and doing Lord knows what for days afterward since it might diminish the outrageous new claim that Obama stalled doing anything about this oil spill so as to maximize the tragedy and give him an excuse to "pander to the environmentalists." You remember them, they're the guys who were to blame for the high prices that made the oil industry so happy?

Come on baby, let's do the twist:
"This is exactly what they want, because now he can pander to the environmentalists and say, 'I'm gonna shut it down because it's too dangerous,' " No, this would never have happened but for President Hussein.
"This president has never supported Big Oil, he's never supported offshore drilling, and now he has an excuse to shut it back down."
whined Brownie through the microphones at Fox without regard to the fact that "back down" would indicate that it had ever been shut down and that Obama hadn't been saying all along that he was in favor of drilling when needed if it could be done safely. No he hasn't yet joined Rush in claiming that environmentalist hippies in diving gear sunk the platform and he hasn't mentioned the failure of the safety equipment from Halliburton -- who would dare? Why mention that the free market is supposed to take care of this, not that durned Gummint. Who would be so unpatriotic and nonpartisan as to mention the truth? Lady Sarah after all says we need people to trust the oil industry. That means we need people to distrust the (Democratic) government if not Democracy itself.

So let's go, the band is playing and it's the Blame it on Obama Cha-Cha. Who can resist? Play it loud and you won't hear me blaming this on official drill baby drill Republican policy.

Blame it on ObamUH
Blame it on ObamUH!

Come on everybody!

5 comments:

  1. This is what desperation looks like, people.

    This kind of stuff may play well to the Tea Bag base of, what is it now, 22%? But it is a massive turnoff to the vast majority of Americans, including that coveted "independent" block, the people who have a brain and aren't swayed by the political winds and Fox News smears.

    There is no way in the world you can pin this on environmentalists or Democrats or liberals or tree huggers or whatever. People who were raising the alarm and are suddenly proved right by a disaster are not the people you blame. Those who DO try to blame the folks who were sounding off alarm bells just come off as pathetic.

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  2. "Those who DO try to blame the folks who were sounding off alarm bells just come off as pathetic."

    My local paper this morning had all kinds of suspicious comments about terrorism in the Gulf. "you can't rule it out" so it's probably true.

    I was the only one speaking against it. Never overestimate the profound stupidity of the American Public.

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  3. Yes, this is one twisted twist, Captain -- anything that gives Brownie an opportunity to come out of well-deserved obscurity and shame, and point his dirty finger at somebody else for a change, must be seriously sick.

    BTW, Jon Stewart too found a musical analogy to deal with the Gulf disaster and its handling by politicians and the media -- his is based on The West Side Story.

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  4. Never overestimate the profound stupidity of the American Public. I think that you are correct based on the comments offered by many of my fellow Americans in our local paper.

    Thanks for providing a bit of joy; your dance analogies made me smile.

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  5. Elizabeth,

    Jon Stewart is on a roll lately -- I've come to take him much more seriously than I used to because his comments, though meant as humor, are often more perceptive by far than the usual "serious" nonsense.

    The blame being cast right now is utterly predictable and so obviously manufactured that it's hard to see how Heckuvajob and his ilk can keep a straight face. No matter what action the Administration took, they would say it should have been done a day sooner. Same goes for the current Times Square near-incident: they caught the guy within a few days, which is pretty impressive policework, but no, we're told, they should have have captured the fellow instantaneously, or divined the attack in advance even though there was probably no way to know it was coming, in this case.

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