If you are Caucasian like me - Imagine, if you will, being so angry with an African American person that you hollered “NIGGER!” at them? Go on – imagine that? Can you? Does it make you cringe at the thought? Does it fill you with horror that you are uttering a word – angrily and hatefully and publicly used by many whites during and before the civil rights movement? Does it conjure up horrific images of lynching in your mind?
If you are like me – you never could and never would EVER so insult an African American person – no matter how angry you were. No matter how justified you felt in your anger. If we white folk were to all allow this word to begin to permeate our discourse again, how do you think it would make the African American community feel? That perhaps all of their efforts at striving for equality – in the face of many hurdles – were all for nothing? Were slipping away?
Yes – some African Americans use this term towards each other – I don’t understand this – but then again – I am not African American. But I do know and respect that they do NOT consider it acceptable for we white folk to do so.
Fair enough.
Well – now that we’ve imagined this horrific scenario – a society that started hatefully and angrily hurling the word NIGGER around again – imagine this – a society in which the word BITCH began to be used again widely and publicly in all circles of society.
Guess what – it’s not that hard to imagine because that is precisely the society within which we live.
Now to speak from my heart as a middle-agish woman who has been striving for respect and equality within a patriarchal world most of her life - whenever I hear a woman – ANY woman called a bitch I am saddened to the core of my being. I get angry. I feel PERSONALLY insulted. Any society that accepts the calling of one woman a BITCH is only one breath away from hurling the SLUR in my face. I begin to despair, to wonder what I have been struggling for. What have so many women struggled for? Why is BITCH gaining – again – in PUBLIC popularity but NIGGER is not – or any other racial/ethnic slur that we no longer dare publicly condone? Why are women not allowed the same amount of respect? Women of ANY race or ethnicity?
And when I hear a woman call another woman a bitch the pain in my soul is beyond expressible words. I think to myself – she just doesn’t get it. But why doesn’t she get it? Increasingly I hear my college students – young women – angrily call each other bitches. Where did they get the message that this is ok? The answer is – they never got the message that it ISN’T. I am increasingly appalled by the lack of knowledge of my students and even of women my own age about the history of women - of all racial and ethnic backgrounds - and their struggles. A history that deserves respect. A history that - if it were properly taught and appreciated - might make us more respectful of the use of language with respect to women. With respect to gender.
Last semester I had to explain to my class what the Women's Lib movement was and when it was - they hadn't a blessed clue.
One of the leading feminist journals for years has been BITCH MAGAZINE. I have never been terribly comfortable with the title but I do recognize what this literary champion of feminism is trying to do within ITS OWN community – to reclaim the word positively. To neutralize it. While I confess I think this to be a naïve venture, they absolutely do NOT advocate allowing the word to be used by men or women as part of everyday discourse, angry or otherwise. In fact – quite the opposite.
Now lest anyone think this particular journal is responsible for the continual, pervasive, hateful use of this term – hardly – it is a little-read journal read almost exclusively by ardent feminists.
I am also appalled at the use of this word in liberal circles – the political faction most associated – rightly or wrongly – with human rights. The blind hypocrisy simply boggles the mind.
So – I am begging anyone - man, woman, white, black, purple or green - who reads this post – PLEASE! – if you ever feel compelled to hurl this foul word at a woman of any race, any ethnic background or any political or spiritual belief – stop & imagine calling an African American person that you were angry at nigger. To my ears – it’s the same thing. Just as nigger will be forever associated with racial hatred and injustice – so bitch continues to be heavy ladened with sexism, if not outright misogyny. Insults that target a person’s race, gender, ethnicity, religion – need to go the way of the dinosaurs if we are ever to live in a society of civil discourse that truly respects its members for both their differences & their similarities.
Language is and always has been part of human evolution – both in spoken and written form. How we express ourselves as individuals and as a society defines us to our very core. Language is an expression of personal values, societal values and concerns. Language matters and words – the essential component of language – matter.
Gloria Steinem, Susan B. Anthony, bell hooks - and all my living & dead foremothers deserve a better legacy. Please help me pass it on to our children. Because if we don’t – then CUNT – yes, CUNT – will be the next word to become part of our everyday vernacular. And yet another slur aimed at our daughters. Our mothers. Wives. Girl-friends.
Oh - But wait – it already IS.
