The Spongey Brains of Squids

I have been a remiss member of the SwashZone community of late. Many excuses of course – too busy, blah, blah – the ready excuse of our modern age.

But that’s not it. For days (weeks?) now I have been watching SZone emails (comments & posts) filling up my in-box. All unread, I confess. I never even followed up on the last conversation I was involved in – I believe it was you, Dino, I was talking to? Maybe?

So why my rudeness? Please don’t take offense anyone. None is ever intended. But I have come to the conclusion that SQUID’s have sponges for brains. Yes – sponges. You know – my fellow sea creature of the deep? And sponges can only retain just so much until they are saturated & can hold no more. And my spongy-squid brain is saturated.

At first I thought this brain condition was a simple matter of election overload & subsequent burnout. I thought, I am just too whimpy a Squid to talk politics with SwashZoners right now. I am just too intellectually feeble to process any more angst over this or that. Too cowering of a deep sea creature to be able to handle dissent & conflict. In short – I thought – I am simply no longer up to the task of being a good zoner.

Yes . . . but why? Why haven’t I been able to squeeze some of the excess out of my spongy brain in order to make room for more info & discussion? I thought a week or so away from the blogosphere in general would help. And divorcing myself from the politically swashing zone.

But it didn’t work. Yesterday it occurred to me perhaps why. The pieces of the puzzle of Squid’s continued state of saturation began to fall into place.

I was driving around doing errands & I saw a sign posted about an auction of a home today. A home in which somebody once lived. A somebody now perhaps homeless altogether. Jus the week before there were signs posted all along the highway claiming “no credit check, loan guaranteed, 100%, new homes.” Bailout lessons blatantly NOT learned. More homes blatantly to be sold into later foreclosure.

Then there are the weekly meetings at work about hiring freezes, budget cuts, increased workloads, etc. Doom & gloom talk all over campus as programs are cut . . .

And every morning, on the way to my doom & gloom place of employment, my walk from my parking garage takes me past a congregating area for my city’s homeless. Everyday – I walk past these people – women & men. Quietly sitting, talking, living.

And more reality checks - last weekend I was sick with strep throat. My throat ached. I needed soup. Something soothing. I opened my cupboard to find nothing. Not a canned good to be found. Not a one. My child had cleaned out my cabinets the week before in support of said child's school’s food drive for a local charity – the SECOND food drive the school district has hosted in a month. As I ate a scratching, unsoothing granola bar instead of soup – my painful swallowing reminded me that there were those worse off than me. At least I had the soup to give.

And - the weekend before my child had strep throat. My child is allergic to penicillin so has to take a special anti-biotic. After paying my meager co-pay I happened to glance at the pharmacy printout & noticed what the BEFORE insurance cost of my child's meds was – it was staggering! I thought – how in the world would a parent without health insurance pay such an outlandish sum? And there are so many parents without health insurance.

So – I’ve come to realize that the saturatedness of my spongy squid brain is due to so much more than depressing headlines & blog posts/comments. It is due to the reality behind the headlines etc. staring me in the face everyday.

Today that home nearby goes up for auction. I can not help but wonder if the family in it will be needing those cans from my cupboard. I know that sounds a bit melodramatic – but – sadly – it just might be the stuff of hard core truth as well.

I am a lucky Squid, all things considered. Though my spongey brain continues to leak with a mixture of genuine compassion & selfish anxiety.