JESUS IS LORD AT
SHEFFIELD’S FAMILY DINING
ALL YOU CAN EAT CATFISH DINNER
SHEFFIELD’S FAMILY DINING
ALL YOU CAN EAT CATFISH DINNER
Declares the peeling, sun damaged roadside sign to highway travelers in the Sunshine State. I've never been tempted to stop and ask whether Yahweh is on the staff as well, perhaps, despite their not being Kosher, filleting catfish back in the kitchen.
I guess even the Godstruck of Florida have to admit there are places where exception is taken and of course you don't have to drive too many more miles to encounter billboards announcing your approach to Cafe Risque where we are enthusiastically assured that "They bare all." I doubt Jesus is even a busboy at Cafe Risque.
Despite the massive and daily influx of New Jersey exiles looking for the cheap life, Florida is still Florida, particularly in it's chewy, nut filled center. Whether it involves writing laws making it a felony to watch animals having sex ( only if you find it arousing of course) or making sure you don't kiss your spouse in the wrong places; Florida is still Florida no matter which lords are leaping at Sheffields and Florida still writes bills and passes laws the way the National Enquirer ( a Florida based tabloid) writes articles.
According to some legal experts, Florida is a state where you can wear a bathing suit to a restaurant, but only if you don't sing. It's a state in which by law one may not do anything "unnatural" which to anyone of a cynical bent would suggest that magic and miracle are illegal, but extra-Biblical sexual acts, being natural enough in the animal kingdom, are not. In fact it appears that taking your clothes off in order to shower might earn you a fine, should anyone notice. Thank God I have a bath tub and that my bedroom is on the second floor.
I realize the ocean and the weather are a big draw, but how can you stand to LIVE in the Banan Republic of Florida?
ReplyDeleteI think these pols have way too much time on their hands.
I wouldn't live anywhere else - Ok maybe Dominica but I'm getting too old to live an a place with no medical care.
ReplyDeleteFlorida is now a blue state populated by Yankees and although I hate to sound elitist, the antics of the peasantry are mostly an amusement.
It doesn't hurt that I like bananas.
Lived there for ten years. I've moved back to the inner city in the Northeast and am not sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget taking visitors to Lowery Park in Tampa and seeing a family (grandfather and father with the ubiquitous mullett, and assorted tattoos, and smoking and the grandmother and mother, tattooed and smoking) shoveling yellow-cheese-looking melted goop over chips into the grandkids, who looked to be around 2 and 3 years old, and helping them to wash it down with a supersized Coke.
And then there were the "Early Bird Specials" at all the local eateries that served limp, colorless food to sad looking elderly people.
Really, at least where I am the sad looking people are getting fat on colorful pizza and ensalata caprese.
That's a little like confusing Big Moose, NY with Queens. I agree, Tampa is the pits, but it bears no resemblance to where I live. Don't forget that Florida has more wilderness than any state east of the Mississippi. There is no building in my county taller than 35 feet, the coastline is mostly wilderness and we have about 35,000 acres of parkland.
ReplyDeleteHave a look at this: http://fogghorn.blogspot.com/2008/05/florida.html
It's been said that North Florida is South Georgia.
ReplyDeleteIf Florida bans bestiality, your amorous Octopus will be forced to live a celibate life and no longer consort with human beings which might not be a bad thing except for the fact that I still have a few human friends (although not currently conjoined, it would be a nice option to keep open and a very private matter, all things considered).
ReplyDeleteTherefore, I propose this amendment: All legislators and other public officials shall henceforth be defined as “beasts” making it a felony for any human being to engage in sex with them or watch them legislate. Seems only fair, don’t you think?
Very funny, Octo! I second your proposed amendment. Ha!
ReplyDeleteSquid, we need to contact these legislatures and express our concerns. The rights of the cephalopod community shall not be abrogated !!!
ReplyDelete