If you are Caucasian like me - Imagine, if you will, being so angry with an African American person that you hollered “NIGGER!” at them? Go on – imagine that? Can you? Does it make you cringe at the thought? Does it fill you with horror that you are uttering a word – angrily and hatefully and publicly used by many whites during and before the civil rights movement? Does it conjure up horrific images of lynching in your mind?
If you are like me – you never could and never would EVER so insult an African American person – no matter how angry you were. No matter how justified you felt in your anger. If we white folk were to all allow this word to begin to permeate our discourse again, how do you think it would make the African American community feel? That perhaps all of their efforts at striving for equality – in the face of many hurdles – were all for nothing? Were slipping away?
Yes – some African Americans use this term towards each other – I don’t understand this – but then again – I am not African American. But I do know and respect that they do NOT consider it acceptable for we white folk to do so.
Fair enough.
Well – now that we’ve imagined this horrific scenario – a society that started hatefully and angrily hurling the word NIGGER around again – imagine this – a society in which the word BITCH began to be used again widely and publicly in all circles of society.
Guess what – it’s not that hard to imagine because that is precisely the society within which we live.
Now to speak from my heart as a middle-agish woman who has been striving for respect and equality within a patriarchal world most of her life - whenever I hear a woman – ANY woman called a bitch I am saddened to the core of my being. I get angry. I feel PERSONALLY insulted. Any society that accepts the calling of one woman a BITCH is only one breath away from hurling the SLUR in my face. I begin to despair, to wonder what I have been struggling for. What have so many women struggled for? Why is BITCH gaining – again – in PUBLIC popularity but NIGGER is not – or any other racial/ethnic slur that we no longer dare publicly condone? Why are women not allowed the same amount of respect? Women of ANY race or ethnicity?
And when I hear a woman call another woman a bitch the pain in my soul is beyond expressible words. I think to myself – she just doesn’t get it. But why doesn’t she get it? Increasingly I hear my college students – young women – angrily call each other bitches. Where did they get the message that this is ok? The answer is – they never got the message that it ISN’T. I am increasingly appalled by the lack of knowledge of my students and even of women my own age about the history of women - of all racial and ethnic backgrounds - and their struggles. A history that deserves respect. A history that - if it were properly taught and appreciated - might make us more respectful of the use of language with respect to women. With respect to gender.
Last semester I had to explain to my class what the Women's Lib movement was and when it was - they hadn't a blessed clue.
One of the leading feminist journals for years has been BITCH MAGAZINE. I have never been terribly comfortable with the title but I do recognize what this literary champion of feminism is trying to do within ITS OWN community – to reclaim the word positively. To neutralize it. While I confess I think this to be a naïve venture, they absolutely do NOT advocate allowing the word to be used by men or women as part of everyday discourse, angry or otherwise. In fact – quite the opposite.
Now lest anyone think this particular journal is responsible for the continual, pervasive, hateful use of this term – hardly – it is a little-read journal read almost exclusively by ardent feminists.
I am also appalled at the use of this word in liberal circles – the political faction most associated – rightly or wrongly – with human rights. The blind hypocrisy simply boggles the mind.
So – I am begging anyone - man, woman, white, black, purple or green - who reads this post – PLEASE! – if you ever feel compelled to hurl this foul word at a woman of any race, any ethnic background or any political or spiritual belief – stop & imagine calling an African American person that you were angry at nigger. To my ears – it’s the same thing. Just as nigger will be forever associated with racial hatred and injustice – so bitch continues to be heavy ladened with sexism, if not outright misogyny. Insults that target a person’s race, gender, ethnicity, religion – need to go the way of the dinosaurs if we are ever to live in a society of civil discourse that truly respects its members for both their differences & their similarities.
Language is and always has been part of human evolution – both in spoken and written form. How we express ourselves as individuals and as a society defines us to our very core. Language is an expression of personal values, societal values and concerns. Language matters and words – the essential component of language – matter.
Gloria Steinem, Susan B. Anthony, bell hooks - and all my living & dead foremothers deserve a better legacy. Please help me pass it on to our children. Because if we don’t – then CUNT – yes, CUNT – will be the next word to become part of our everyday vernacular. And yet another slur aimed at our daughters. Our mothers. Wives. Girl-friends.
Oh - But wait – it already IS.
Yes, it already is.The problem with the B-word is the automatic and demeaning intent of comparing a woman to a female dog. This includes an implied physical disparagement as well as behavioral ones -- in most modern minds, the word has come to mean "an angry and sexually active woman." Thus the word is not only harmful, but easy to overuse in a culture that doesn't practice gradations of language anymore.
ReplyDeleteI have taken to using the word "bint" to refer derisively to young women when necessary. Coming from Arabic, the word does not have a sexual connotation; it simply means "a young girl." As a reproof of childish behavior, I find it far more appropriate that "bitch," which has taken on such broad and bitter meaning. Yet the best language, I maintain, is silence.
When Hillary Clinton was still in the primary campaign, a rightwinger started up a website named, Citizens United Not Timid.
ReplyDeleteSo yes, dear SQUID, that word is almost as common as the word "bitch."
How about when someone needs to label someone as cowardly, insipid, or feckless--what word is used to demean that person--especially if that person is a male?
Pussy.
Or Mary Jane, IOW, we still are a culture that sees women as weak, wimpy, and powerless.
But, when a female is assertive, self-assured, and extroverted, characteristics admired in males and preset in successful politicians and corporate bigwigs, she is labeled a castrating bitch.
(Remember the "Hillary Nutcracker" that went around emails during the primary season?)
And then there is Barbara Bush's famous take on Geraldine Ferraro during that presidential campaign, where Bush demured from labeling her outright, but said what she was rhymed with "witch."
And any time two prominent women have a public disagreement, the MSM jumps right in a labels it a "cat fight." When this happens between prominent males (Obama vs. Cheney, just recently), it's labeled a "battle."
Sigh.
We have NOT come a long way. Too many people, men AND women are still stuck in the moldy, discredited wasteland of stereotypingy and name-calling--this past week that focused on Judge Sotomayor confirms this.
Matt - you are exactly right about the original meaning of the word AND its sexual connotations - i.e. "dog/bitch in heat."
ReplyDeleteAND you are exactly right that sexual aggression or appetite is implied by the vernacular use of the term today. This is, in turn, reflective of the fact that our society still views sexually desiring women as dangerous. Phooey!
Shaw - could you hear me applauding as I read your comment?! It could be a supplement to this post as this post is, in turn, a supplement of sorts to Octopus' post about our society's continual & tiresome association of being tough with having balls.
"Cat fight" is one of my all time pet peeves. And SO MANY WOMEN use the phrase. Again - we do not educate our children as they grow about gender. The schools duck it & by the time they get to college their ideas about gender have largely been formed by pop culture.
My young son knows all about the civil rights movement & MLK because they studied it on MLK day. I think this is great. Awesome. But did my son learn in school about the suffragettes or any other prominent woman on International Women's Day? Did any school child? I sincerely hope so, though I am doubtful.
When my son came home telling me all about MLK & slavery & Frederick Douglas' work for the Under ground railroad I asked - did you learn about Harriet Tubman? The answer - no. I explained to him about how she was one of the leading figures of the underground railroad. But he was not taught this at school.
This may seem like a minor example, but I think it is telling. The college students I mentioned who did not know about the Women's Lib movement or ERA DID know all about vietnam and the civil rights movement. Some of them even knew about Caesar Chavez! But they had no idea that women fought for fair pay etc etc etc etc etc during the same time period.
So here we are today - upping the anty from bitch to cunt.
Thanks for for your insightful conversation Matt & Shaw. Very much appreciated.
With all due respect Squid, I apologise for my transgressions regarding this subject. I know Pamela of Oracular Opinion is a regular here. She thumped me for misbehaving on her blog once. I accepted her scolding and acknowleged it on several occasions as "having my balls busted by Pamela." I meant it repectfully. I had the "ball busting" coming. But I will try to be more careful what I type.
ReplyDeleteYes, the "bitch" meme, like "ho," is another metastatic Americanism that bothers me too and for a variety of reasons; one of them being the increasingly vulgar and coarse and epithet-laden prison idiom we make fools of ourselves trying to emulate.
ReplyDeleteThe "bitch" thing owes much to what they insist on calling "hip-hop culture which of course I take as an insult to the concept of culture itself -- and to nearly everything else.
Like the baggy pants, "bitch" is part of the prison patois and is no longer confined to negative attitudes toward women. It serves to illustrate any sexual relation, without consideration of gender as one of dominance and degradation, but of course that makes it an even uglier, meaner and more degrading term and thus dearer to the hearts of hippers and hoppers who rant about everything ugly, hostile, malignant, crude, mean and vicious -- and call it music.
Of course any society that includes the degradation of anyone degrades itself and we seem to be taking delight in the process by setting the worst of us up as role models.
That being said, I still would like to reserve the term as appropriate in the case of Ann Coulter, but with no offense to dogs intended.
Mostly Kind - I thank you for your thoughts. I mean that sincerely.
ReplyDeleteFogg - you are correct that "bitch" has taken on a SEEMINGLY ungendered use in pop culture, etc. However - I would argue that in fact that is not the case. Calling men girls is an insult as old as the hills. Why is it an insult? Because it is perceived as being emasculating to equate the male with the female. Prison guys calling each other bitches is tantamount to the same thing. The rise of the practice of men calling men cunts is the same thing. It is meant to be demeaning precisely because of its genderedness.
As for AC - words when uttered become part of the fabric of society. While you may imply one thing when using the term that is not how it will be heard. We must bear responsibility for how our words are heard especially when we are fully cognizant of the word's baggage.
AC & SP & others are lots of things - but bitches & cunts they are not.
And Fogg - your apology is very much appreciated. Thank you very, very much.
Sheesh! I go away for an overnight, return home, and what do I find? "B" words and "C" words and "N" words littering the beach. Do we have any volunteers to clean the beach and throw those awful words in the trash bin where they belong?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, who littered the beach with these last night?
I’ve been called many bad names before, but if you are going to insult me, at least pronounce it correctly: “Octo-Pooh-Say.”
Squid,
ReplyDeleteDo you think the editors at the NYTimes reads this blog? Look at today's [May 31] lead editorial:
"Supreme Court nominees must be fully vetted on a wide range of issues, but most of the ones being raised about Sonia Sotomayor are not among them.
The first Hispanic nominee to the court is being called racist. She is being attacked as not smart enough, as too abrasive (a description often applied to women who speak their minds in public life). There have even been reports that critics have taken aim at her taste for Puerto Rican food.
Ick, that should read "Do you think the editors at the NYTimes READ this blog?"
ReplyDeleteTyping too fast in the slow lane. My bad.
Shaw - thanks for the heads up - I think! I just read it. Oh how unsurprising. First thing this morning over coffee I was greeted by a google headline about L. Graham declaring she needed to apologize for something. I sighed & thought - Lindsay - you have a lot you need to apologize for" . . .
ReplyDeletebut I digress . . .
If she wasn't a combative judge she be accused of being to whimpy etc etc etc - ow tiresome.
Anyway - an interesting article, and probably one that will appear repeatedly in similar form until it's over.
As for you Octo - while I appreciate your male self willingly taking on a marker of a "female attribute" - please! do not remind me about that horrendously titled film from a series of films that has done more to belittle, objectify, trivialize - oh, I could go on - females & femaleness than just about any sexist drivel hollywood has ever coughed up.
(Squid heaves another tired sigh)
Wow. A lot has been going on here. Excellent points all around.
ReplyDeleteI want to carefully wade into the tempestuous waters of this discussion.
I don't know that it is accurate to compare the word "bitch" to "nigger". I certainly don't want to offend anyone (forgive me if I do), but while women have quietly suffered as second-class citizens for...well forever...African Americans were brought over as slaves. The n-word is very directly linked to that slave heritage. As such, I think it is more demeaning.
That said, it's disturbing how often all of these words are used. Use of the word cunt in particular really bothers me. Bitch has, in many ways, been used in humor in a way that sometimes separates it from the degradation of women (for anyone who's seen it, the end of Anchorman when Ron jumps into the bear pit comes to mind). Cunt, as I've heard it used, is always very degrading. And its use is very much on the rise.
I agree with Fogg that some people - Ann Coulter in particular - are so awful as to deserve being called a bitch. The problem is that there is a discrepancy between men and women. What equivalent word for men is there? I know of none. Furthermore, what equivalent word that can be applied to both genders is there? Maybe this is silly, but I think if our society is going to belittle people, we should be equal-opportunity belitters.
Calling Coulter a bitch is accurate, but doing so is degrading to all women as it grants credence to an awful word. As much as I think Ann deserves it, I'm going to try to stop using it to describe her.
Another point worth making is that the use of any of these words doesn't just degrade women or blacks or whomever the word is directed at, but also the people who use the word. Just like torture crushes the souls of the interrogators, calling someone a cunt makes one a little less human.
I appreciate this post; it was a little bit of an eye-opener for me.
Still, sometimes a bitch is just a dog. It's the intent that makes a word seem nasty.
ReplyDeleteI do agree about using stereotypical female attributes to demean men. I remember some gym teachers way back when who hardly missed a chance to tell us how we shouldn't be like "girls" but I suspect their motivation for misogyny and obsession with stereotypical masculinity. And of course there's Hans und Franz and their "girly" men spoof. It puzzles me too that to me macho means hanging around with the guys, sneering at the women.
My take has always been that "real" men don't have to worry a lot about what real men should be.
"calling someone a cunt makes one a little less human."
I do hate that word actually and more so when I hear women use it -- particularly when it seems they use it to be "one of the boys."
We really do have a problem with gender, don't we?
Brian, admittedly this has been a week of rough surf at the beach but perhaps a healthy conversation that needed to be aired.
ReplyDeletePlease refer to comment (#2) under Bloggingdino's post, A Hippin' and a Hoppin' (Good Golly Miss Molly?)…. Or, "You the Cutest Little Jailbird I Ever Did See." (Elvis) just above this one. This is issue was first raised by Echidne over a year and half ago.
Brian - thank you for your thoughtful comment.
ReplyDeleteAs for equating nigger with bitch - you make some valid points, however - the usage of bitch has catastrophically increased in usage throughout our society with increasing fervor throughout the 20th century. It is part of the backlash against feminism and women's rights struggles in THIS century.
It is - more than anything I think - representative of anger against women beginning with the suffrage era. It is a part of OUR 20th century culture more than it has ever been part of any other historical moment.
As for the colloquial usage of the term today - I addressed this in an earlier comment & Dino does in his subsequent post - it is only SEEMINGLY genderless. In fact - I think its now SEEMINGLY genderless usage is offensive beyond words. For our society to have allowed this word to creep so pervasively into our vernacular AND in "reinvented" form shows a total lack of understanding, sensitivity, and appreciation for the awfulness of the word in the first place. It's now derivitive use is therefore insidiously sexist - yet pretending to be not so.
As for AC - remember - calling her a bitch signals that it is ok to call any woman one. I do so appreciate your resolve to refrain from doing so.
Fogg - I share your despair at hearing women calling each other cunt. A very real example of how women, as well as men, have not been taught to respect themselves and each other and to understand that their language is setting back all of the work of their foremothers - foremothers they may know nothing about.
Thanks for all the comments, folks.
Squid - You're right about bitch being used NOW. I've been amazed (and appalled) at how the usage of that word has increased just in the last few years. And unlike the n-word, there has been no effort to stop using the b-word.
ReplyDeleteI think the reason for the increase in the use of the word is because of the colloquial application you and others have mentioned. For many people now, it doesn't seem like a bad word. It's everywhere - movies, TV, music, certainly the internet. You may disagree with me on this, but I think were it not for the history of the word and the fact that what may, in many situations today, begin as colloquial usage turning into directly demeaning usage, these pop-culture applications wouldn't be a problem. That's where ignorance of the history of the women's movement is a problem. People use the word colloquially, ignoring the history behind it, not always with intent, but just because many don't know any better. It's another way our education system has failed us.
This is, of course, very similar to the word "gay" being used to describe something that is merely lame.
Hi folks - sorry - one more thought!
ReplyDeleteBrian your comment reminded me of something I didn't address in my post. I think a large part of the problem with eradicating this word - & sexism in general - is that its usage cuts across race lines, ethnic lines, etc. In other words - these words are aimed at ALL women by men of all races, creeds, etc.
The "B" & "c" words - oh the irony! - are equal opportunity slurs.
As if women weren't slaves for thousands of years.
ReplyDelete"It's another way our education system has failed us."
ReplyDeleteI hate to bring it up again, but I'm always chastised for complaining about academic support for the idea that any word, phrase or grunt means whatever the ignorant person misusing or misunderstanding it intends it to mean. I see that attitude in effect here and yes, it's a failure and a humorous one when I consider that we are adamant about spelling a word precisely, but we don't give a damn about what it means.
"Bitch" can mean all sorts of things, some (life's a bitch) are mild, others raunchy and ugly, others only canine, so we're going to have to either take the traditionally reflexive mindless route and try to ban the word and talk only about "female dogs" at the kennel club, or we're going to have to realize that nasty intent will produce another nasty synonym faster than you can whack any mole.
To people who insist that our consciousness is directed by words, I hold up the example of Chinese - a language where there are no gender specific pronouns. He, she, and it are all "Ta." Hers and his are "tade." I don't have to remind anyone of that ancient foot binding, harem keeping civilization's dominance by males.
If we want the phenomenon of affluent teens cruising the malls, butt cracks in the breeze, calling everything in sight a "bee-yutch" we can stop adoring corporate America's packaging of criminal intent and convict culture. We won't get rid of nastiness or nasty people by banning things, but we can sure as hell get rid of our own cancerous pop culture if we try. How?
Steal this word! If every bespectacled college professor, polyester suited televangelist, every spokesman for stodginess, law and order would use it incessantly it would cease to be cool in microseconds. Let the Senate convene with them all in baggy pants and gold teeth and rhinestone watches and watch it all melt away.
Soon all will be well at Westminster.
Steal this word! If every bespectacled college professor, polyester suited televangelist, every spokesman for stodginess, law and order would use it incessantly it would cease to be cool in microseconds.
ReplyDeleteLOL. That would definitely work.
I see your point, Captain, but the use of negatively connoted, gender-stereotyping words would still upset our resident cephalopods, and I've already cleaned out the aquarium four times this week.
ReplyDeleteYou do of course recognize that I'm speaking in tongus in cheekus mode as we college folk say?
ReplyDeleteBut does that mean I have to cease calling our former Vice President Dick?
Connotation and indeed stereotypes are different in the mind of the speaker and listener after all. If Cheney were German, he might think I was calling him fat. (and he might be right)
Once when my daughter was small, my mother called her "special" which was the current euphemism for retarded. She was crushed. It would not have been fair to start in on my sainted mother as a bigot for speaking standard English.
I see some of this as a constant opportunity for unintended offense and of course it affects people with a mastery of words more than it does the jargon adept. It helps hasten the advent of a Newspeak designed to eliminate nastiness but serving to create a schism between English and two separate vernaculars: one real and the other forced on us.
There's a bit of the good old fashioned American witch hut lurking here, IMO. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
DISCLAIMER
*nothing said hereinabove or elsewhere in this blog or any other blog in which I publish should be misconstrued as disrespect for or attack upon any gender, race, ethnicity or any other non-violent classification of person or persons. Hence no slur, slander or slight is intended to be anything but specific to an individual or political group. If I have unintentionally offended, perhaps we're not speaking a common language and I would refer putative offendees to the Oxford English Dictionary as the referee of record. If I have intentionally offended -- well then, you'll certainly know it although you may still need a maderchod dictionary -- you behnchod gaandu!