material. Otherwise it's just a canvas bag, or "officer canvas" as they call it, which means you may have to salute it if you're wearing a Hermès hat.Why? Greene keeps asking, although I know and you know exactly why anyone would actually buy one at a time when more Americans are cramming their things into shopping carts and Hefty bags and wandering the streets. It's precisely because it cost $27,100 and you can't afford to toss that kind of money away on nonsense, hand stitched or not.
It's not the sort of bag most people would really notice, except that it doesn't have the silly handle and wheels that make our airports seem like farmyards full of goat carts, but then it's designed for another purpose, it's designed both to remind you and to help you forget that there are people -- millions of people trying to support families on one Hermès suitcase a year.
Hey, don't get angry. It's your money and you're taxed enough already. Under Reagan's tax structure you'd have had to make do with Louis Vuitton or perish the thought, Hartmann, so the country owes it to you and you needed to buy it now, before that Marxist in the White House restores the tax rates of that prince of Capitalism -- right?
So... Where can I buy it in the Chicago area, do you know?
ReplyDeleteI read this earlier this morning and was really just appalled. Especially at the very end of the article where the girl mentioned that some folks buy metal cases to put their $27K suitcase in.
ReplyDeleteBut you're right, people are taxed enough already, and I'm sure that if the unwashed masses would just stop smoking crack and prostituting themselves long enough to get off their lazy asses and get a job, they could ALL have a Hermes bag. Meanwhile, let them make do with Hefty, and if they're lucky they can get the vanilla scented ones.
P.S. Personally, I never leave home without my $36,000.00 Kelly purse, enveloped in a paper bag to prevent scratches. (It's not just any paper bag, but one made lovingly by hands of Chinese children fed only pure organic rice.)
ReplyDeleteAnd just in case anyone tries to accuse me of elitism and greed, I'll have you know that I have very strict values in these matters: I absolutely draw the line at 8 homes, 2 yachts and 1 jet. Yes, that's how principled I am, even though my own husband makes fun of my frugality.
Now that I've shared that bit of info about my modest and unassuming lifestyle, I'm off to hunt for the suitcase Greene describes. (I may have to travel soon. Or not. Depends on whether -- and when -- they'll finish refurbishing the seats in my jet with leather made of the whales' penises.)
And you DESERVE those things, Elizabeth.. they're OWED to you. It's only your high moral standards and strict self-denial that allows you to live the modest lifestyle you do now.
ReplyDeleteDo those Chinese children know how lucky they are?!
And those would be *virgin* whale penises, wouldn't they?
Thank you, Satyavati. I'm glad you understand. It's not easy to be so frugal and principled in this age of unbridled greed and self-gratification.
ReplyDeleteThe Chinese children will appreciate their luck in due time, I'm sure.
And how did you know about the virgin penises?! I'm impressed. That's exactly what's holding up the whole refurbishing project -- my experts have a hard time distinguishing virgin from non-virgin penises, and I insist (again, that principled nature of mine, sigh) on the virgin ones only. So I may not yet see my jet ready in time for our next trip to Cayman Islands. But still, will get the suitcase, just in case.
I want one of THESE (actually I'll need eight).
ReplyDeleteAnd one of THESE would be cool too!
ReplyDeleteHermès is on East Oak St. in Chicago - an easy walk from your penthouse at the Drake and I'm sure your valet wouldn't mind carrying it back two blocks if you don't want to get the limo out for such a small trip.
ReplyDeleteI confess I'm a luggage snob. Seriously. I will own nothing made of Nylon: ballistic, futuristic, pthistic, heuristic or otherwise and certainly nothing with wheels. I just really dig leather bags like Mulholland Brothers or Tommy Bahama, but they'll only go in the trunk of my (non-chauffeured) car. For the boat, it's strictly tote bags of enlisted man's canvas - none of that officer's stuff.
For airplanes I take my Hermie's bag -- the canvas and leather plumber's tool bag from Hermie the plumber - that's if I fly at all and I don't if I can avoid it.
But ya' know, I've only got one house and one yacht so I don't hardly belong in this conversation.
Finally, I can use a nice chandelier (for my birthday).
ReplyDeleteRemind me never to hire a mollusk as an interior decorator or fashion consultant!
ReplyDeleteWhat better evidence could there be to ban Bankster bonuses?
ReplyDeleteHermès is on East Oak St. in Chicago
ReplyDeleteThank you, Capt. dear (how could I forget? silly me). I'm going to send my butler there first thing tomorrow. It's too cold for me to risk venturing outside on my own, even in my limo, wrapped in a rare Siberian fox fur coat. And, after all, that's what servants are for.
Ah. It's not easy being affluent in these tough times, but one has to manage somehow.
Now, Octo, I'm no expert, but it seems your taste is bordering on, um, slightly obsessive, no? ;)
Elizabeth: “Now, Octo, I'm no expert, but it seems your taste is bordering on, um, slightly obsessive, no?”
ReplyDeleteI'm so vain ... and tomorrow is my birthday (hint, hint).
Octo, I wanted to ask, but didn't, not knowing if you'd like to share the info.
ReplyDeleteBut since you did:
Happy Birthday!
(Yours and my dad's, btw. :)
Happy Birthday to Elizabeth's Dad!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteI always find the objects people will waste oodles of money on amusing.
ReplyDeleteI am in the camp of "its their money" but I really don't understand the attraction of some of these items.
Then again, someone else might wonder why I spend so much money on good pots and pans or my perfume.
It's all relative...