It’s a new year and time to dust off those dire, end of the world predictions and give them an update.There’s a loosely organized movement of self-identified Christians who are spreading the word that May 21, 2011 will begin the End Of Days – the Revelation laden, cataclysmic, “we’re all gonna die!” End Of Days.
Harold Camping, a retired civil engineer has calculated the May 21 date based on his reading of the Bible. He believes the Bible essentially functions as a cosmic calendar explaining exactly when various prophecies will be fulfilled. "Beyond the shadow of a doubt, May 21 will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgment," he said.
Camping has help from the likes of Marie Exley, a 32 year old Army veteran who would have liked to start a family if there had been more time. In August, Exley left her home in Colorado Springs, Colo., to work with Oakland, Calif.-based Family Radio Worldwide, the independent Christian ministry lead by Camping.
Additional help comes from Allison Warden, of Raleigh, who has been helping organize a campaign using billboards, post cards and other media in cities across the U.S. through a website, We Can Know."If May 21 passes and I'm still here, that means I wasn't saved. Does that mean God's word is inaccurate or untrue? Not at all," Warden said. No word on how she will resolve that sort of cosmic slight by God.
Once again it seems the Biblical passage that says no one know the day or hour has been ignored or forgotten.
At least they have lots of company:
The Heaven’s Gate folks of Hale-Bop fame in 1997.
Miller in the 1840’s who predicted Jesus’ return to earth. Although he was wrong, that didn’t stop a religious movement to grow around his teachings and would eventually become the Seventh Day Adventists.
And who can forget the Great Millennium End of The World of just eleven years ago?
Like the poor, the fanatical and delusional will always be among us.
Since those who are inclined to believe that May 21 will see all the believers raptured into Heaven leaving the rest of us behind, perhaps we should plan a farewell party…. champagne and lobster tails anyone?
A member of my family married into a family of Jehovah Witnesses. They would predict the end of the world all the time, then have to revive and repredict the end of the world when it didn't happen.
ReplyDeleteThe funniest moment came at a family gathering when one of these JWs approached my uncle and tried to talk him into investing in a new invention of his. I remember my uncle looking quizzically at this guy and saying through his bursts of laughter that since the JW guy just told him with great conviction that the end of the world was coming in 2 months, why would he want someone to invest in his invention!?
I have to admit I had to leave the room and keeled over laughing after seeing the look on the JW guy's face.
He never approached any nonJW family member for an investment after that.
if the Rapture truly does happen and all of the world's "believers" float off, I can't help but think the rest of us will have a lot more basic freedoms and peace on this planet. Seems to me (cynical atheist that I've come to be since becoming a Recovering Catholic) most of the world's hate, bigotry, intolerance, pedophilia, terrorism, and wars have their roots in holy books that have been perverted by 'believers'...
ReplyDelete"Adios, Assholes!" would be my farewell, and I'd happily hold the door for them on the way out.
Ah those Christians are just trying to get a jump on those "heathens", the Mayans, whose calendar clearly predicted that the world will end in 2012! Nyah nyah, Mayans!
ReplyDeleteRocky - champagne and lobster tails anyone?
ReplyDeleteI'll second that with a second helping (but pleeze spare the little cephalopod).
In a way, I kinda wish they get their wish. Nothing like a good Armageddon to clear the air. Then, hopefully, they will go away and leave us alone.
Camping's group has been erecting billboards around Nashville, including this one down the street from me. It's pretty funny, considering the long, storied tradition of "the end is near" predictions this nation has. All, of course, have ended as spectacular fails. I thought they'd have figured out by now that it's best to not put a specific date on things since they invariably end up looking like idiots. Maybe they need a codicil: "I really REALLY mean it this time you guyz!!!!!"
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh when I read a comment that the believers will be "raptured" away and those left behind will begin a period of torment.
ReplyDeleteAll I could think of was, "tormented, by whom?" And there is another movement that believes we have entered the Age of Aquarius and after a period of great turmoil, we will finally have peace - maybe this is it!
Oh sure, we dinos snickered and snorted and hopped up and down with mirth whenever some proto-mammal tried to tell us the asteroid was coming. So how'd that work out for us?
ReplyDeleteArmageddon? When/where is it supposed to start? Sarah Palin's front porch?
ReplyDeleteI going with the champagne and lobster crowd and tossing in a case of straight malt Scotch for pregame warmups!!
Rocky - those left behind will begin a period of torment.
ReplyDeleteI'll take the torment ... and, finally!, some peace and quiet.
"those left behind will begin a period of torment."
ReplyDeleteIn other words, nothing will change. When it doesn't happen, there will be excuses, redefinitions of what the end means and then a new prediction of doom and a new flock of gulls.
But of course, the end will come and I'll venture to predict it will be within the next hundred million years - or so. Certainly within a billion or two depending on what the word 'end' means. Mankind may end sooner depending on whether some mutant with twice the brain power emerges and we don't kill the Liberal elitist bastard.
Well of course the Dinosaurs got raptured or Velociraptured as it were and only one remained behind to suffer. And of course we're glad of it. 200 million years of domination however makes it unlikely that the Dinogods were any more hasty or efficient or more angry than the human ones. We've got time and there shall be time enough and armageddon tired of these idiots.
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
"the Mayans, whose calendar clearly predicted that the world will end in 2012! Nyah nyah, Mayans! "
ReplyDeleteI read the Popol Vuh not long ago for the second time. Considering their ideas about the past, I have little regard for their predictions of the future.
I missed my chance to make money off the Y2K thing, but there's got to be a way to get rich from this 2012 insanity.
when my buddy niles rumfoord and kazak entered the infundibulum then started to rematerialize on regular basis there was a fortune to be made hawking trinkets to the believers.
ReplyDeletei hope the may 21 deal is a hoax. i'm expecting big things this father's day.
If you're a blackbird or drum fish in Arkansas, the End Time has arrived.
ReplyDeleteCaptain - there's got to be a way to get rich from this 2012 insanity.
Caskets.
Hell yeah! Oh lordy please don't rapture me. I don't want to go. Take all them bible thumpers up to you Jehosafat. Then maybe the rest of us can get on with it.
ReplyDeleteAs to the Mayans. Did it ever occur to the morans (sic) who believe that crap, that the Mayans were going to do exactly what we do every year when our calendars run out? Make a new calendar.
Headlines for the End Time …
ReplyDeleteThe Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
Playboy Magazine: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE
Bon Appetit Magazine: MONTEZUMA’S FINAL REVENGE
Victoria's Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE
Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER
Readers Digest: 'BYE
Excellent comments. As someone pointed out, and to be stressed, anyone who uses the Bible as an authority on some theory must ignore some things it says and leave them out of the quotient.
ReplyDeleteAs for the torment, there's plenty of torment in the world right now, we don't need another rapture.
DB
Octo those headlines are the best!!
ReplyDeleteCivil Engineering Today: Dam Bursts Rupture on Rapture
JAMA: Rapture VS Health Care Reform, Insurance Companies Seek New Spin
Martha Stewart Living: Rapture "Bouquets To Die For"
Religion and death
they have cornered the market
they assume all the angles
useless prophesies
and more useless prophets
still I am impressed
their PR is outstanding
more people believe in angels
than in evolution
what if only
the opposite were true?
"niles rumfoord and kazak entered the infundibulum"
ReplyDeleteBetter, I suppose, to be all places at once than running around the prickly pear at 5 AM and whimpering. Hey, when fate makes you into a wave function, get a surfboard.
I actually know someone who's stockpiling food and ammo for 2012, but who is to say that prophecies don't self-fulfill or at least transmogrify into success in retrospect. I'm sure that when nothing whatever happens, we'll still hear stories of people who have disappeared and the believers will still believe. Just as they believe Jesus and the Hidden Imam and even Quetzalcoatl are due back any day now and that tax cuts pay for themselves.
The signs of the upcoming end are clear: dead birds falling from the sky, fishes dying off by the thousands, extreme weather, WikiLeaks, GOPers in the House. And don't even get me started on failing humans.
ReplyDeleteWe may as well end this sorry enterprise, and start anew on the planet with some more appropriate life form (roaches?).
I hate to break it to all of you, but IF this Rapture should occur, the period of torment that will begin will be from the same people who are tormenting us now. My first thought was, "YES, peace & quiet and a little extra elbow room!" But exactly who will be taken away? True Christians. Not those who CLAIM to be Christian. Do YOU know any?
ReplyDeleteIn re-reading this post, I realized my tongue in cheek snark might be a bit offensive to those among us who believe in the Biblical Rapture, etc. Let me just say that I respect others' religious beliefs and in no way am I making fun of what gets you through the night.
ReplyDeleteThis post is more of a commentary on those who will use any excuse to exclaim their religiousity and draw attention to themselves while wasting time, energy and resources they could use to actually do some good in world, like feed the hungry, clothe the poor and shelter the homeless.
For my part, I don't think I owe anyone's weird ideas any respect whatever - even less so when the ideas include some self appointed superiority of those tenuously tethered to reality and the terminally gullible.
ReplyDeleteTo paraphrase a certain group, I respect the person, but not the delusion. I certainly am not going to pretend that any of this rapture crapture has even the most remote possibility of fulfillment just because somebody holds it dear to their timorous heart.
People are owed some basic consideration, of course, but frankly Revelation and its author aren't things for a sane person to take as real. Half the reason the madness continues is that people are polite about it and I'm not going to be polite about things that threaten civilization and have been the source of persecution for millennia.
What is a true Christian anyway? For every definition, I can cook up a contradictory one with every bit as much claim to authority, and history is a witness to the fact that there is no definition - only baseless and self-serving authority.
No, it's not going to happen - ever - and sorry if sanity offends anyone out there. No Rapture, no redemption, no hell no horsemen and no torment we don't inflict on ourselves and others.