Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Every sperm is a baby

It will always be impossible to convince all religious people that religion isn't the mother of religious fanaticism and of the self-righteousness that makes fanaticism so dangerous. In fact they may be right in that such ego disorders seem to be a general human failing, albeit one that so often finds a home in Churches, Mosques and Synagogues -- but that doesn't soften the fear that from the frustration believers in old religions feel about the implacable advance of what I like to call enlightenment, a movement will arise like movements in the past to overthrow an age of reason and science and relative freedom.

"any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.”


There seems to be nothing in that statement that might hint it did not originate in the 5th century before the Christian era and nothing to suggest that it wasn't a measure introduced by a Republican, but alas, neither is true. Oklahoma State Senator Constance Johnson is a Democrat and she has introduced an amendment to pending Senate Bill 1433, a typical "life begins at conception" bill, that says that the resulting fetus
“at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state.”

Ms. Johnson wants to extend that right to a sperm cell, although apparently she thinks egg cells are exempt -- since otherwise not getting pregnant might also be as murderous as masturbation. Still, the "every sperm is a baby" bill doesn't have a chance, but apparently Rick Santorum does and probably for few other reasons than his own ridiculous positions on interfering with private lives in the name of small government and Big Religion. Santorum has attracted a plurality of Republican loonies in Missouri, Colorado and Minnesota.

It's hard to think that Rick has a real shot at the presidency, but you know, I've been looking at Costa Rica lately.

I'm generally very intolerant of the "both sides are equally bad" arguments that depend on fraudulent accounting and false equivalence to forgive the side with the preponderance of guilt, but Geez - what does it say about Oklahoma Democrats that she is allowed to speak for them?

16 comments:

  1. It appears to me to be a joke amendment... designed to point out just how ridiculous the bill is. The article you linked says the "Democratic legislator has taken a novel approach to fighting an Oklahoma personhood bill". She's fighting it, according to this article. As opposed to jumping on board.

    When the Democrats are in the minority in state legislatures and can't actually stop ridiculous bills like this... I very much approve of this tactic of attaching even more ridiculous amendments.

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    1. At the time I wrote this, the press wasn't hinting that she might have her tongue in her cheek.

      Please remember that I live in Florida where not long ago, some state rep tried to remove an "animal husbandry" exemption to a bill forbidding people to take interest in animal sex because she thought it was permitting men to marry animals.

      Maybe at this point I'm too willing to believe they're all idiots.

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  2. Someone needs to tell that exaggerating drama queen that every sperm is half a baby.

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  3. Gotta agree with w-dervish on this one. Oklahoma is a festering sore of blatant, open bigots and loons (sorry, OKJimm, but it's true), and sometimes, the only way to fight them is to point out the blatant, open logical fallacies in their arguments.

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  4. I reconnect with an old buddy who now lives in Oklahoma.
    He was a kooky Jesus freak in high school who I was able to corrupt with Hustler mags and cigarettes. Now he's back to his kooky Jesus freak, rapture is coming, give all your money to Jimmy Swaggert ways. Oklahoma is full of these idiots. The only way to get eleted in Oklahoma is to at least pretend to be one of them.

    The great big cross I saw while driving through Oklahoma was inspiring though. It inspired me to think how many poor people could have been fed or homes built for them for the prie and effort it took to build the giant cross.

    Gaudy shows of faith should be made a sin.

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  5. "...what does it say about Oklahoma Democrats that she is allowed to speak for them?"


    I think it says she's performing some very creative political theater. And it's hilarious.

    Just as hilarious as the RCC getting its red beanies and lace dresses all in a dither over the contraception clause in the ACA.

    I think practicing Catholics should listen to the hierarchy of the RCC just they way the hierarchy of the RCC listened to the children and parents of the children who were being systematically molested and raped over the centuries.

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    1. Exactly. I think the good Captain missed the irony.

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  6. Millions of sperm gang-raping an ovum, and Rick Santorum's had to be the ONE. His daddy should have wasted him on a dumb and thankless paper towel.

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  7. Rick would say that the way she "ovum" was dressed she must have brought it on herself."

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  8. I think that Senator Johnson may be a fan of Monty Python's film, The Meaning of Life which included a very funny sketch called,"Every Sperm Is Sacred." I think that Godlizard and I have seen the same film!

    Jezebel
    has a great article highlighting the satirical intent of the Senator's amendment, The State Senator later willingly withdrew the amendment, telling her colleagues that she had introduced it to highlight the ridiculous sexism inherent in a Personhood Law that would force women to be pregnant.

    There was a similarly satirical amendment proposed in another state legislature, believe it was Virginia but too lazy to verify, in which a legislator proposed amending a bill forcing women to view ultrasounds prior to having an abortion to include requiring that men receive rectal exams as a condition of obtaining a prescription for Viagra. It didn't pass. Go figure.

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    1. So you know, I saw a making-of documentary on the Meaning of Life - it almost didn't get made because they blew their entire budget on that one awesome number ("Every Sperm"). Fortunately, they got additional financing.

      But they'd gone in with the intent of making that number in that way, and just thought it was a laugh when they saw that their entire bankroll was going to it.

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  9. For clarification, the amendment didn't pass; the original bill did.

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  11. Perhaps when satire is too hard to distinguish from politics as usual, it's time for me to quit and take up gardening.

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  12. I think it speaks volumes of the times we live in that we see an article like this and think the legislators are serious.
    We can no longer laugh at these "jokes" because look at the legislation it was attached to.
    I feel like I have dropped into some alternative universe... time to order my bhurka!

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