Sunday, March 16, 2014

Fred Phelps: a premature obituary

So, apparently Fred Phelps is in a hospice and on the verge of death.

The founder of the Westboro Baptist Church is clinging to life, despite the combined wishes of the majority of the American population.

Apparently, although the Westboro members refuse to talk about it, Fred was voted out of the church by the other members, according to people like his estranged son, Nate Phelps (who regained his sanity 37 years ago and left the church).

Now, it's possible that the other members of Westboro Baptist Church realized that Fred was the worst person in America, and decided that they didn't want him around any more. It's just as likely, though, that much like the Tea Party and the Republicans, they've decided that Freddy was holding them back from reaching the true depths of hatred available to them.

Here's the thing, though. Our boy Freddy isn't dying because of some unexpected illness or because his body finally got tired of his shit. It appears that he is dying from an extended tantrum.
After Phelps was voted out of Westboro Baptist Church this past summer, he was moved out of the church and into a house, where he was watched to ensure he wouldn’t harm himself, a son estranged from the church said Sunday. Phelps eventually stopped eating and drinking, and on Sunday, he was near death.
And at age of 84, you can't do that to your body, as Fred has apparently just discovered.

So, having warped the minds of at least three generations of followers, Fred has just learned that you can't keep your body running for over eight decades on a diet of hate, and then try to replace it with sadness.

When he finally stops wasting our oxygen, he will not be missed.


  1. I was raised on the idea that it's wrong to feel good about someone's demise, but ya'know. . . . it will be just a little bit better a world when he dies, and let it be slow and agonizing and frightening and if there is a hell designed to fit our crimes, let his be an eternal gay bar.

  2. Fred and his people were nothing but publicity hungry grifters. Let us not be distracted by their sideshow from Rand Paul, the Koch brothers, Paul Ryan and the real enemies of the American people.

  3. Fred Phelps is an ass, if there is a God that created both straight and gay people Freddie Bigot Phelps just might be spending eternity in that gay bar Captain.

    Now Rand Paul and Paul Ryan may be a bit misguided but to label then unequivocally the "real enemies of the American people" is a stretch, IMNHO.

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  4. I offer my premature ‘good riddance”.

  5. Fred must have sweated when he went to his judgement and saw a sign that read ...
    God Hates Fred Phelps"

    George Vreeland Hill


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