I just saw it again in a movie - our protagonists frantically one
step ahead of a superhuman pursuer jump on to a motorcycle in
desperation, but pause to put on a helmet. I say again because it's
certainly not the first time. Panicked fugitives stop to put on seat
belts leaving any of the audience who had been carried along by the plot
behind as if all the phone numbers beginning with 555 haven't already.
A
car rolls slowly down a beautiful leaf strewn autumn road, while the
massage crawls across the bottom, admonishing us not to to do this
yourself and that there is a trained professional at the wheel and the
road is closed. Of course that's less ridiculous than when the same warning
is presented as the car drives out the back of an airplane, or off a
bridge. Who are we warning and would a warning have any effect on the
guy who thinks his Toyota can fly?
Watching a show
about asset recovery agents - repo men - who specialize in stealing
helicopters and jets and even megayachts from people who have stopped
making payments. I of course, see the same warning. "Don't do this
yourself, trained professionals." Damn, and I had my leather helmet and goggles on already.
Funny
thing that we don't see these things with movies about criminals or
people who invade foreign countries - Trained professional bank robbers, etc. or people who land on the moon, (Don't try this yourself) but
hey.
I've already complained about instruction manuals
for everything from q-tips to digital cameras that have 10 pages of
warnings for every paragraph explaining how to use it. Don't use a
hammer to clean your ears, don't stand on a wet floor and stick your
tongue in a light socket while using this camera.
The
stuff that's actually dangerous? Not so much. Yes, I think one of the
ceramic knives I bought for my wife said something like "don't cut
yourself" but that's mild in today's America and of course it doesn't
tell you to hire a chef and leave the cutting to her. No warning that
"contents may be fattening" on my fridge or "don't use in the shower" on
the toaster but then I didn't read the manuals. My cars' instruction
books didn't suggest getting a chauffeur and there's no sign on my lawn
relative to not cutting it myself. I'm willing to bet more people are
hurt by power mowers than by cameras but none of this is about objective
reality, is it? But I could be wrong.
Maybe I'm just
reckless and irresponsible. Maybe I should be more cautious about life
in general. I'm considering putting up a sign over the front door -
facing inwards. How does "Don't go out by yourself. It's a jungle out
there, for trained professionals only."