I am such a lucky woman. I have won the lottery over & over & over & over again. Reportedly - I am worth zillions! AND - what's more amazing still about my good fortune is that I keep winning the SAME two lotteries - REPEATEDLY! Is this even possible?! Mathematically? Statistically? I wonder! What is the probability that an anonymously squidly woman lurking in the ocean depths of the US could win the British & Irish lotteries multiple days of each week???!!!! Sometimes one each per day!!
So this all has me pondering . . . why aren't I winning any other national lotteries? Like in my own country? Gee - might it be because other countries actually require that you enter a lottery to win it?
Or . . . maybe its just that other national lotteries do not know the mysterious electronic pathway through the atmosphere that leads to my gmail spam box.
Maybe?
We are two very lucky cephalopods. To date, I have won national lotteries in Spain, Ireland, the UK, France, and Orra. Scratch, make that Andorra.
ReplyDeleteEven more amazing are the many dead relatives who have left unclaimed legacies in Euros, Sterling, Kroner, Rand, and Zlotys. Of course, there is always the name of a solicitor to contact (and be sure to include one's account information for immediate wire transfer). Pirates, I tell you!
These e-mails have also left me confused about matters of anatomy, some claiming to augment these or that ... leading me to question my own gender ... or at least consider the possibility of my being a hermaphrodite. Little do they know, I am really a cephalopod.
Ah,yes, I wish I had a dollar for every "barrister" that has offered me untold riches, then I might actually be a millionaire.
ReplyDeleteI do love the mangled syntax and gross mis-spellings; they are always good for a laugh.
I have often been tempted to actually start a correspondence and play with them for a while, but the more sober admonishments of my mate have so far kept me from indulging.
So I wait, gazing over hill and dale, waiting for my ship to come in....
At least I'm in good company. :)
My email inbox today today contained my 8,379,466th offer of inexpensive penis enlargement. They must be giving away the phalloplasty these days!
ReplyDeleteI only get emails for the thrills of 'enlargement' and cheap pills for just about everything...
ReplyDeleteDo they know something about me that I don't know?
Aw, Squid, I only won one in Nigeria! And she wanted to move in with me! Imagine my surprise. I just wanted the money, not another mouth to feed. How can I get on YOUR mailing list?
ReplyDeleteI once tried to play one of these Nigerian "barristers" who claimed a relative had died and left me money. I looked up the name and address of the Minister of Justice in Lagos and offered to meet them at his office. Dumb move. It was like pushing the "Scam me" button and I got hundreds more.
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to laugh, but my ex-father in law, suffering from Alzheimers, was scammed out of almost everything he had and still believed he was going to be rich if only he could send them a few thousand more.
Some friends of mine got scammed for $9,000 dollars...but then again they are also stuck with four houses that they had planned to flip and make a killing.
ReplyDeleteI work in Risk Management in a Credit Union. My department contains the fraud division. SO many people fall for these. I've actually seen the checks they send you. Its bad.
ReplyDeleteHere is the latest in e-mail announcements (this is an an actually copy and paste - note: the subject line contained a misspelling):
ReplyDelete"You have been approve for a lump sum payout (£750.000.00 GBP), in the Siemens Award Promotion Please fill the form below and send it to our payment department with the contact given below.
1.Full Name:..............
2.Full Address:..................
4.Occupation:..............
5.Phone Number:............
6.Country:............
Yours faithfully,
Mrs Joan Thomas"